


In Dreams

by Basic_Spirit



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Canon Compliant, Dating, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, KH3 spoilers, M/M, Sad with a Happy Ending, Set during and post-KH3
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-21
Updated: 2019-05-06
Packaged: 2019-11-01 19:38:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 11
Words: 24,631
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17873549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Basic_Spirit/pseuds/Basic_Spirit
Summary: After Sora and Riku's mark of mastery exam, they learn that their hearts are linked in a way that transcends distance. This is something that comes in handy when you want to date someone worlds away.





	1. Chapter 1

There are two major paths by which relationships start: sometimes, you meet someone with the intention of dating. From day one, it’s clear that, if all goes well, a relationship will form. The other is building on a previous relationship — close friends to something more. That, decidedly, was the harder of the two, perhaps by the sheer lack of defined rules: when do you make the first move? When do you know for sure your love has grown? 

All Riku knew was that he was in love with Sora.

He'd had an inkling for a while. When they'd met, he thought he wanted to be Sora. He'd been jealous of Sora. He'd done anything to show off to Sora. When he ended up in the darkness, he'd do anything to get back to Sora. When Sora had welcomed him in open arms, even after he'd been taken by darkness, he knew for sure.

Sora realized he felt the same around when the carried out their Mark of Mastery exam. He'd looked up to Riku his whole life, and after learning how the other felt about him, there was nothing he could do to resist.

The truth came out not long after that day. There was a very brief period to regroup before they had to set off with new assignments. The two sat outside on the steps by the Mysterious Tower, staring up at the stars, comfortable but in silence. 

“D’you ever think about… love?” Riku asked out of the blue. 

“Yeah,” Sora answered without missing a beat. “It sure is all around.” 

“Yeah.” Riku blushed, slowly but surely, “Remember when we were kids, we always thought that, like, if we never found anyone else, we’d probably just date each other…?” 

“Yeah,” Sora laughed, still looking up. 

“... How are we going to know when we’ve looked long enough?” Riku finally said. 

This caught Sora’s attention; now he looked over at Riku, stars in his eyes. He flashed back to mundane, middle school sleepovers – lying in bed, hearts on their sleeves. _'I_ __co_ uld be so happy with you.' _

“... because I don’t think I’m going to want anyone more than… more than I want you…” Riku finally decided. “I dunno, it was just a thought… if you…” 

“I…” Sora’s cheeks were heating now too. “No, I do, I feel it… Riku, are you serious?”

The blonde opened his arms earnestly. “... of course.” 

“I… you want to be boyfriends?”

“If you’ll have me,” Riku said. 

“Yes!” Sora exclaimed too loud. “I want that–” he darted forward, tackling Riku’s open stance in a hug. Suddenly, he released him, sitting up. “Wait… is this allowed? 'Cause we're both boys, and I’ve never seen this at any world I’ve been too–” 

“Of course it is,” Riku comforted softly. “If you make me happy and I make you happy, why should anything keep us apart?” 

“You’re right!” Sora decided. “Wow.” 

However, their physical time together was short. It was only a few days before Sora’s depreciated strength became painfully obvious. They’d spent so much time apart, it sucked to be split up again. 

“Hey,” it was the night before their departure, Sora and Riku sitting on the edge of Riku’s bed. “Don’t worry about me. You need to be focused in the realm of darkness.” 

Riku was currently focused on Sora’s hands, trying to memorize every detail of Sora’s body to keep him occupied on long dark nights. “I want to be distracted by you.” There was no denying Sora had long since been his favourite person – it was only the physical things they were getting used to. “You make me so comfortable and at ease.”

“It won’t be long until we see each other again,” Sora assured him. “We’ll still meet up for debriefs with Master Yen Sid.”

“And in the meantime, my imagination will have to do,” Riku’s hand travelled up Sora’s arm to cup his face. “I’ll miss you.” 

This made Sora sad. “Yeah,” his eyes darted away, trying to play it off. “You too.” 

It was so intimate for a second, his hand on Sora’s face. There was a beat, and they both started to move in, but Sora redirected at the last second. He ducked his head to the side instead, bringing them together in a hug, his lips coming to rest on Riku’s neck. “Be safe, okay?” 

“I always am,” Riku spoke into Sora’s hair. 

They lingered for a moment then pulled back. Sora got to his feet before Riku could make another move and faked a yawn. “Well, I… better get to sleep. Goodnight Riku.”

Riku smiled, not willing to push things. “Goodnight, Sora. I’ll try my best to see you off in the morning.”

Sora hurried to his room, regretting he hadn’t kissed Riku, embarrassed that they were wasting precious time together, wishing he was able to own up to his feelings. He was jittery about the next day and it took him a long time to get to sleep. When he finally did, he seemed to not be asleep for long before he awoke in a dream in a city he knew — Traverse Town, by the light of morning. 

The town looked strange and different from the change of light, but Sora didn’t question it. He was sitting at the little café in the main square, admiring the fountain. All of a sudden, Riku was walking down the steps, towards him. His heart warmed. The blond came closer, sitting beside him. “Hey Riku,” Sora greeted. 

“Hey Sora,” the blond took his hand on the table. 

“I wish I’d kissed you tonight,” The words easily slipped out of Sora. 

“Me too,” Riku somewhat sadly agreed. Classic Sora, always dreaming what he wanted to hear. “But you’ve still got the chance.” 

“Do you think you’ll let me tomorrow morning?” Sora asked. “I don’t know if we’ll get the chance to be alone…”

“What do you mean,  _ do I think,  _ of course I’d let you in the morning,” Riku smiled. “I hope you do. I want you to.” 

When Sora’s alarm woke him, the dream stayed fresh in his mind even though it has ended hours earlier. Riku always was the early riser, but Sora still had hope that he could still catch him. He jumped out of bed, still in his pyjamas, hustling barefoot down the hall, down the stairs towards Riku’s room. As he got down there, his new boyfriend was just closing the door, already dressed in his amazing new clothes. “Riku, wait—“ Sora cried, still running. He grabbed Riku’s shoulders and spun a little, slowing himself and pulling Riku closer, then grabbed his face. He pausing for a breath, looking at Riku’s face for confirmation, then leaned in and smooched him for the first time. 

Riku was still a little stunned, but when Sora’s lips finally met his, his heart heated and he snapped back in. His hands found Sora’s arms and they turned a little, moving back in for a few more kisses until they were content and came to rest their foreheads together. 

“I couldn’t leave without doing that first,” Sora breathlessly said, heart racing in his chest. 

“I’m so happy you did,” Riku was fully content. At those words, a strange energy set in on them. “Wait… have we had this conversation before?” 

Sora couldn’t shake that  deja vu  either. “I… I think I dreamed about you last night.” 

“No way…” Riku trailed off. “You too? I dreamed about you!”

“In Traverse Town?” Sora asked. 

“Yes–!” Riku’s voice was rising. “You were in my dream.” 

“You were in  _ my  _ dream!” Sora accused. 

“It-it must have something to do with our exam!” Riku was putting the pieces together. “Since I dove into your dream then, maybe we’re linked?” 

“Maybe we won’t have to be apart anymore–”

“Riku?” Mickey’s voice echoed up the stairs. “Uh, who ya talking to?” 

Sora and Riku both blushed, Sora ducked back into his room. “You should go! Be safe. I – maybe see you tonight?” 

Riku was shocked. “Yeah… I hope so!” He glanced to make sure the King wasn’t coming up the stairs, then grabbed Sora’s face for another kiss. “But just in case.” 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, let me start off by saying how BLOWN AWAY I was at the response I got to the first part of this story; just want to say I really appreciate every kudos and comment :) I'm hoping to get a fair amount of this story out pretty quickly so stick with me!

Sora’s own departure was a few hours later, but he was still beaming from his first kiss with Riku. Al day long, his mood was cheerfully optimistic, and although it was pretty normal for him, he could feel the difference. Every smile was a little less forced, a little bigger. He was filled with giddy excitement for the coming night. Eagerly, he pushed through the day, hardly feeling the real world, galavanting on with Donald and Goofy. When the sun finally set and the retreated to the gummi ship, Sora tucked himself in early, quietly staring at the roof, waiting to fall asleep. 

Sure enough, he wasn’t out for long before he faded back in onto another familiar world – Symphony of Sorcery, beautiful rolling fields of colourful grass, soft classical music, and there, positioned on the hilltop, was his new boyfriend (oh, what a wonderful word) and a picnic blanket. 

Sora hustled up to him, thrilled for his first real date with his boyfriend. “How did we get this lucky?” he marvelled. 

“I don’t know, but I’m happy we did,” Riku was pouring them champagne (who's idea was that?) a beautiful little plate of sandwiches laid out before him. “Nice dream, by the way.”

“I don’t know if this is mine,” Sora looked around. “I don’t think I’ve been here before. And I’ve definitely never had champagne!” 

“Me neither,” Riku noted. “So I’m sure in real life it won’t taste like this.” 

Sora accepted the glass, receiving delicious sparkling apply juice. “I wish it tasted like this,” Sora enjoyed. “Wait – have you ever been drunk?” 

“Can you even get drunk off champagne?” Riku dubiously asked. 

“This is our dream, we can do whatever we want!” Sora excitedly announced. “I’m gonna say yes. I don’t know when else I’ll get the chance!” 

“And it is good to celebrate,” Riku clinked his glass to Sora’s. “Our first full day as boyfriends. We made it this far.” 

“Tell me all about your day!” Sora gushed. “I had so much fun, I can’t wait to hear about the realm of darkness…”

Their date went on. Time was strange in dreams; Sora knew it wasn’t more than twenty minutes, but it felt like an entire day. They ate their sandwiches, drank their drinks, walked the fields hand in hand. It was so nice to be with someone who you could talk to forever.

As the sun began to set in the dream, Sora felt tired and knew he was going to lapse back into deeper sleep. They said their goodbyes, hugging tight and kissing shyly. “I’ll see you tomorrow night,” Sora promised Riku, one hand on his soft cheek. The world became dark and he continued to rest, unbelievably content with the past twenty-four hours. 

However, it was not his alarm that roused him again, but falling into another dream some ninety minutes later. This time, he arrived in Country of the Musketeers, looking up at the sparkling stars above him in a deep blue sky. Unexpectedly, a white horse approached him with Riku on its back. 

Sora’s jaw dropped. “No way…” 

“Look at us, we’ve synched up,” Riku was so confident, extending a hand down to Sora. “Think you’re up for another date?” 

Sora couldn’t express his excitement enough. “YES! Yes yes yes!” He took Riku’s hand, lifted effortlessly onto the horse and they rode off into the distance. They stopped somewhere near the gorge, where Riku hitched the horse and lead Sora to a bubbling hot spring, clear and warm. 

“Whoa,” very suddenly, Sora was in a bathing suit, stepping into the water. “This is amazing. How’d you ever think of this…?”

“What can I say, I’m kind of a romantic,” Riku was getting in the hot spring too. “We need to talk about what’s happening.”

“It seems like, if we’re both dreaming, we end up together!” Sora exclaimed. “And every dream feels really long, so, conceivably, we could go on, like, multiple dates per night.”

“And I’d like that,” Riku took Sora’s hand in his. “We haven’t had enough time together. Maybe this will right that wrong.” There was a moment of seriousness between the two. “Do you think things are going… too fast between us?” 

“Riku…” Sora was looking at him more earnestly than ever before. “I want to spend every second of every day with you and it doesn’t matter where.” 

Riku was shocked at the comfort that phrase could give him. “How do you always know just what to say?” 

“You just gotta make sure you don’t get sick of me!” Sora joked, and Riku smirked, pulling him in for a gentle kiss. 

The rest of their day was spent relaxing, talking less literally about what was happening in their lives and more theoretical about times that had passed. Riku lamented his time in the realm of darkness, a torment that Sora couldn’t even imagine. Sora was only realizing now the implications of closing the door with Riku on the other side. Sora couldn't imagine a year alone in an unexplainable place, not knowing how you would get back or when, or if. Although Riku had matured significantly in the last few years, Sora had always known just how altruistic and fundamentally good Riku was.  That was one thing they both shared: they were willing to sacrifice for the greater good.

"It's really different being back there this time around," Riku noted. "Mickey and I were talking about it today. He said that I don't have room to be scared 'cause my other feelings are so big." Sora rolled his eyes and squeezed his hand cheekily. "What, is it really that obvious?" Riku's face heated a little defensively. 

"Hey, it's not a bad thing," Sora shrugged. "The King's gonna find out about us sooner or later. You might as well let it help you not feel afraid while you're down there." 

They were walking back towards the opera house, hand in hand. Riku was about to chastise Sora when he very swiftly descended out of the dream, leaving Riku with only a bit of central warmth, empty space between his fingers, and a funny little smile on his face. It wouldn’t be long until he’d see Sora again. 

The brunette slept some more but ended up in another dream, most likely Riku’s doing. Their third date was on Destiny Islands, just like they remembered, but maybe a little brighter, a little warmer. Sora had forgotten how much he missed home; a date spent exploring and relaxing was refreshing but also made him yearn for this whole adventure to be over. 

Later in the night, Sora planned their fourth date. He beat Riku into his next REM cycle, visualizing his favourite sleeping world — Prankster’s Paradise. He sat on a bench with two puffs of cotton candy in his hand, watching the empty theme park dance with lights. It seemed almost bizarre to have the whole place so empty, but Sora wasn’t to bothered by that. He just wanted Riku all to himself. 

Riku appeared out of the blue again was walking toward him, gazing in awe. “I’ve never been here before.”

“I saw it on our exam!” Sora grinned. “Here.” He handed over the cotton candy. “Let’s have a fun day.” 

Riku smirked. “Someone clearly knows what he wants from this date.” Sora beamed smugly, but Riku went on, “Still, I can think of something that might make it a little better…” 

Sora quirked an eyebrow. “This?” he leaned in and pecked Riku’s lips. 

Riku laughed. “Well, that obviously. But…” He turned Sora to the gates which tumbled open, revealing colourful dream eaters. 

“Ohmygosh!” Sora dropped to his knees. “Cookie!” The meow wow bounced into his arms. 

“Thought it would be nice to share these rides with someone else,” Riku’s komory bat nestled on his shoulder. “Come on.”

Their date was fantastic, fun, a whole new experience for both of them. It, sadly, ended unexpectedly as Sora’s alarm blared him awake. One minute, Sora and Riku were next to each other on a merry go round, hand in hand with a dream eater on their lap, the next, Sora was gone. Riku was starry-eyed, petting the neko cat in his lap. “I want to give him the world.” 

Sora groggily awoke, trying his best to stay in the dream, but Donald’s shrill voice cut through: “C’mon, Sora, you gotta get up!” 

He blinked blearily, everything seeming too bright. It felt like he hadn’t slept a wink – he knew for sure his mind had been active almost all night, trying to record things that would usually just be forgotten. Still, regardless of the lack of rest, he was completely reinvigorated with a new sense of love. “Alright!!” he hopped up, grinning, yawning, “Let’s get today!” 

Shortly later, Riku was waking up in the dark realm, equally happy. “You look like you’ve had a great sleep,” King Mickey noted. 

“Hmm,” Riku smiled and nodded serenely. “Let’s go.” 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey again everyone :) Just wanted to give a heads up that although this story does follow along the KH3 timeline pretty well it's not exactly accurate with how things happen in the game. Hopefully it won't be too obvious at any point but I thought I should mention it. Enjoy :)

The next night, Sora went to bed enthusiastically early, curled in the back of the gummi ship, thinking about everything he wanted to show Riku. Today, he’d journeyed to Toy Box and was eager to share his fun adventure to help take Riku’s mind off his own less enjoyable one. His early bedtime meant that he was going to be the first into the dream, allowing it to be most of his own imagination that shaped their dreamscape. He wanted to surprise Riku in the way Riku surprised him – he conjured up his best imagining of one of his favourite worlds, Beast’s Castle, the grand ballroom bright with golden lights. He felt like royalty, dressed in a full suit, patiently waiting for his guest to arrive. 

When Riku finally lapsed into the dream as well, opening the grand doors, dressed equally as formally, his hair tied back in a tiny ponytail. It made Sora far happier than it should have. The brunette rose to his feet from where he’d been sitting, extending a hand. “Riku… may I have this dance?” 

Riku gazed in awe at the beautiful crystal chandelier, the enormous dance floor all to themselves. Soft orchestral flowed from afar, and a tiny smile graced Riku’s face. “Of course.” 

Neither of them knew how to dance, but that wouldn’t stop them. Things moved so easily in their dreams, everything so fluid and effortless. Sora was obliged to be a visitor to these worlds; he’d never gotten the chance to enjoy it like this. He felt downright princely beside Riku; what he wouldn’t give to live this life every day. 

They danced for what felt like ages. Eventually, they desired to talk more than they desired to dance and they left the dance floor, heading to the balcony where the air was fresh. Snowflakes spiralled down but the temperature didn’t bother them. They gathered in Sora’s hair like a little crown of white. Riku dusted snow off a bench so they could sit. 

“This was so nice,” he started. “What an escape.”

“We can do literally whatever we want with no consequences,” Sora boldly claimed, taking Riku’s hand as they sat. He was becoming reliant on physical touch – being around Riku, he couldn’t keep his hands off him. “Just… don’t count on me comin’ up with good ideas like this every time.”

“Hey,” Riku turned to Sora, a little more serious. “You don’t have to. I don’t expect you to. It’s like you said, just spending time with you is enough, I mean it.”

Sora met his gaze, totally in awe. “How did I get this lucky?” 

Riku started leaning in for a kiss, but by the time he made it close enough, Sora had passed out of the dream, leaving Riku in the snow next to Sora’s little imprint. He made mental note to try to get to talk earlier on in their next date and resigned himself to returning inside, considering how he might impress Sora on their next date. 

Sora had just lapsed into a deeper sleep, but as he ascended his sleep cycles again, he didn’t end up in a dream, but awoke in the middle of the night from the chill in the gummi ship. He was shaking under his thin blanket, upset that he should be dreaming about Riku but instead now had to get up, head out of his bunk to the closet to dig out a thicker puff. He hopped back in, trying his best to conjure up some sort of connection to Riku, extending his heart out, trying to fall asleep fast and hopefully tumble into a dream. He could feel Riku’s heart, beating faster than it should have, distressed, and this just made Sora want to find him even worse. 

It took Sora too long to fall asleep again, so he ended up missing Riku’s dream. Riku was in an unfamiliar place, a big, dark house, multiple floors and thick walls and cold stone. He felt lost. He wanted Sora.  _ Where was Sora?  _ It was not a pleasant dream, but at least it wasn’t a full-blown nightmare – still, he was uneasy and vaguely anxious the entire time, painfully prolonging it in the hope that Sora would come to his rescue. 

The longer he waited for Sora, the creepier the house got. As he walked to the front room, trying to find a way out, dark hands started smashing through windows, reaching for him, trying to grab him and pull him away, away from the light and away from Sora forever. 

Riku woke with a jolt, shooting up in his bedroll, heart racing. He couldn’t shake the feeling that something was wrong, but he extended his heart out to Sora, feeling in the same way his counterpart had hours earlier, until he picked up on Sora’s beat. His heart was calmed by its complement, slowing, reminding him that everything was normal and things that he dreamed about could be out of control as well. Regardless, it took him a long time to get back to sleep, and his hopes of getting to talk to Sora were starting to dwindle.

Sora was also stuck in a dream a little later on without Riku, but luckily, his was much less eventful and much less lucid. He rested for a little while more until it came time for another dream closer to morning.

When Riku did fall asleep, it was hardly restful. Although he was in deeper non-REM sleep, he was still shaken from his previous dream, and when his circadian rhythm rose again, the same anxiety was back. This time, he was back at his old house in Destiny Islands. It was dark and cold, wind whipping in the windows. He was in his childhood room, on the bed he hadn’t been on in years. Pooling around him on the bed was a darker darkness, a chain around him. His eyes followed it along the floor, up his ancient dresser where, on top, right next to the ceiling, a dark mass breathed slowly, faintly yellow eyes locked on him in the dark. Riku‘s breath became shaky and he tried his best to quiet it, not daring break eye contact. Slowly, he started to move his leg out to move off the bed, and he realized the darkness wasn’t chaining him in; it was originating from him. 

He felt sick as the dark mass pulled a faint smile, barely white in the dim light from his dark window. It started to extend a hand to him, ready to take him forever. 

Very suddenly, his bedroom door opened, warm yellow light glowing in upon the hand and burning it, melting it away until it was just ash, dissolving the darkness on the floor, evaporating the creature tied to Riku. It was bright enough to squint his eyes, and he did until when he opened them, he found it to be morning, soft sunrise light shining in his window to where Sora stood in his door. 

Riku’s heart was still racing in his chest. He opened his mouth but couldn’t find his voice. It took him a second, but he managed, “Is this real?” 

“Riku,” is all Sora had to say to confirm. That emotion — the distress on Sora’s face — there was no way his mind could have replicated it this accurately. Sora had maybe never seen Riku this weak, sitting in his tiny twin bed, shaking, terrified.

“I’m okay,” This was always Riku’s knee jerk response. 

“W-what was happening?” Sora was trying to put the piece together. “Are you…  _ sure  _ you’re alright?” 

Riku’s eyes were so sad. “Where were you?” 

This made Sora’s heart hurt. “Riku, I’m so sorry, I woke up in the middle of the night because I was cold so I think I missed you earlier —“ All of a sudden, that same sensation from earlier came back to both of them. Riku’s heart started searching for Sora’s, and when they found each other, the two snapped together like magnets. Both boys were struck, suddenly overwhelmed by the same emotion, a rapid shared need. A beat passed. “You’re not okay.” 

“I’m not okay,” Riku repeated, looking away and he started to get emotional. He looked around his room, trying to ground himself. The wind from his open window was soft and spring like now. Sora helped him make it to dawn. “We should talk.” 

Sora approached slowly and gently, easing to sit on the edge of his bed. “... were you having a bad dream?”

“I shouldn’t have—“ Riku was getting mad at himself. “I shouldn’t have asked you where you were. Sora, I can’t expect you to be there if I don’t tell you what’s wrong! I was just worried about why I couldn’t find you and then — I’m sorry, I just—“

“Hey,” Sora scooted closer, putting a hand on Riku’s leg. “Don’t apologize. This isn’t about me. Can I lie next to you?” 

Riku nodded, still horribly shaken up. As Sora curled into his side, head on his shoulder, arm on his chest, his heartbeat and mind finally started to slow. It took a little while, but Riku finally found the words. 

“I get nightmares,” he admitted. “It’s always worst when I’m in the Realm of Darkness. That’s when it started getting bad at all.”

“That’s awful,” Sora solemnly noted.

“They’re sometimes really dumb and I try not to let them bother me,” Riku explained. “But… I dunno. Having _this_ with you makes me less afraid to go to sleep now, y’know?”

Sora hummed softly in acknowledgement. “If… if I can keep your nightmares away, I want to be in every dream you have.” 

Riku sighed. “That’s all I want, but it’s too much to ask, Sora, really. You need your rest too! “ 

“I…” Sora was trying to find a way to work this. “We… we can synchronize our dreams! Or at least try, huh? Like, we’ll head to bed and wake up at the same time and hopefully that will maximize our overlap so we can just go on dates and have fun, okay?” 

Riku’s hand entwined Sora’s on his chest. “I’d like that. I want to spend every night with you. But I-I get that things like tonight will happen. I don’t want you to feel bad—“

“Riku,” Sora’s eyes were fierce with determination. “If you need me, you call my name and I’ll be there, okay?” He could tell from the look on Riku’s face that he’d hardly been convinced. “I’m serious!” he insisted. “Our hearts are together now, alright? You always give me strength, so I want to do the same for you. Okay?” 

Riku couldn’t help but smile at Sora’s stubborn plea. “Okay, okay. I’ll let you save me for once.” 

Sora laughed. “For once? More like the third or fourth time.” It was helping; the mood of the room had changed. Riku felt safe. After they laughed for a second, Sora got quiet. “I used to have bad dreams too.” Riku stayed quiet, waiting for Sora to expand as much as he wanted on that. After a pause, Sora continued, “It was more before all this happened. Like, years ago. It was never that frequent. But,” he turned to Riku, light in his eyes. “I think you stopped it.” 

Riku’s eyebrows pitched up. “What?” 

“You deep-dove into my nightmare during our exam,” Sora recalled. “And I haven’t had a real nightmare since.” 

Riku was kind of floored. He hadn’t thought twice about the implications of his dive; in the moment, he knew he’d had to do it to save Sora’s life, so he was going to do it, no matter what. 

“It’s only been a few weeks,” Sora was going on, unbeknownst to his internal soliloquy. “But I like to think it was you who made the difference.” He snuggled in closer, burying his face in Riku’s chest. “It’s nice to feel protected, an’ I know I’m not always as brave as you are, but I’m gonna try so hard for you, okay?”

Riku couldn’t contain a breath of laughter. He knew that Sora wasn’t being realistic, but he appreciated the sentiment. “That’s all I can ask,” Riku brushed the hair off Sora’s forehead and planted a small kiss. 

They lay together for a little while, hearts in synch, until they both exited the dream at the same time, waking up in the same positions they had been in Riku’s bed, Sora on his side, facing the sunrise, and Riku on his back, looking up at the dark sky above him. Their hearts were still together, even thousands of miles apart. 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really not what I expected it to be when I started writing it, but I guess it had to happen before the next! Hope you enjoy.

Sora and Riku tried their best to start synchronizing their dreams the next few nights. They set their watches for 10:30, sharp. It was somewhat comforting knowing that somewhere, worlds away, your boyfriend was getting into bed as well. 

It was a bit of a tricky process, trying to get two people’s REM to overlap as much as possible. There were still some times Sora would disappear mid-sentence, some dreams Riku would wait in the majority of for Sora to arrive. Riku had a few nightmares, but as promised, Riku just had to say his name, and Sora could be summoned from wherever he seemed to be to rescue Riku from a hard night’s sleep. 

Sora loved using the new worlds he journeyed to for inspiration for dates with Riku. He knew the Realm of Darkness was bleak and wanted to do his best to help distract Riku from his day to day life. Exploring the Kingdom of Corona, his heart was thrilled at the romance all around. Watching Rapunzel fall in love made Sora realize what he was feeling even more than he had before. It made him nervous but filled him excitement and ideas for his next date. 

As night fell in Corona, Sora began to worry that he might not be able to make it back in time. He was sure Riku wouldn’t mind if he missed out on the first dream of the evening. The lanterns were so beautiful. He just hoped Riku would feel the same. 

But things went awry. Flynn and Rapunzel didn’t come back, heading instead for the far shore. Sora knew something was wrong, following them but reaching them too late. Instead, all he got was Marluxia and a hex knocking him out cold. This feat was terrifying enough on its own, but it further sent Sora into a panic because Riku wouldn’t know where he was. Sora hardly had time to fully consider the implications before he lost consciousness completely, in a deeper, controlled sleep. 

Riku noticed. In his heart, he could feel that something wasn’t right even before he went to bed. Ever since the first night Sora had stopped his nightmare, their hearts seemed to be coupled – he could feel Sora’s every time he felt his own. When Riku first noticed it, it made him uneasy: he didn’t want either of their hearts to be exposed, but he realized that being vulnerable was a part of a relationship. If Sora was going to make his heart strong, it made sense that he might have to give something up in return. 

He sat in his bed roll, Mickey already settled beside him, hand discretely pressed to his chest over his shirt. He tried to play it off, tried to tell himself it was his own heart that was anxious. His watch beeped, his only sense of time in this sunless place and he tried to settle himself, assuring himself that he’d see Sora soon, that everything would be alright. 

He’d been doing some thinking of his own. Walking in the endless darkness, he liked to keep his mind off things by planning for the next night with Sora. Today, he’d planned something very sweet and simple — he wanted to take Sora to Twilight Town for a scenic train ride and a peaceful day of exploring. He sat at the train station, keeping his brave face on, insisting that Sora would be here soon. 

He lingered for a little while until it became obvious that Sora was at the very least out of synch with him. He knew the right thing to do now was to lose himself in a non-lucid dream, wait it out and hope that Sora caught up for the next one. He didn’t want to spend any more time obsessing over why Sora hadn’t arrived. 

“Look at you. Have you been stood up?” 

Riku became painfully aware of someone now next to him a bench away. He didn’t have to look but he did anyway, unsurprised to find Ansem sitting metres away. Riku knew this wasn’t real — it didn’t really look like Ansem, he just had that dream knowledge that it was supposed to represent him. Riku crossed his arms and looked away. “Leave me alone.” 

“Do not feel dejected,” the heartless calmly talked to Riku. “Insecurity is unattractive.”

Riku got to his feet. “You’re not real. You’re not relevant. Get out of my dream.” 

“As long as you’re here, I am relevant,” Ansem insisted. 

“You’re just my head playing with me,” Riku tried to convince himself. 

“Why would your mind favour insecurities… if there are none?” Ansem questioned. 

“Look, I get it,” Riku paced. “A lot of my stress comes from the darkness, but I’m over it! I own up to the fact that I used to be weak and obsessed with power but that’s not true anymore.” He was angry at the seeker of darkness. “You know  _ nothing _ about me now. You wouldn’t know what it’s like to actually care about someone, because I’m sure Xehanort never knew, and you never could have, and I didn’t even when we were one. So why don’t you,” he scrunched his eyes fiercely, trying not to lose his temper, “Why don’t you fuck off and get lost?” 

Ansem stared for a minute, a stupid sneer on his face. “Cracks of anger already weaken your heart. Are you really that surprised that you let me back in?” Riku couldn’t deny that he was fuming, honestly mostly from the frustration that everything he’d planned was going wrong. He took a step back in doubt as Ansem got to his feet. “What would your precious Sora think if he were here to hear that?” 

“He would back me up no matter what,” Riku’s stance grew stronger. “I have no doubt of that at all.” 

Ansem continued to approach him, causing Riku to back up, nearing the train. The heartless forced him on, into the confined car, Riku trying to keep as much space between them as possible. The train started moving with a jolt, causing Riku to stumble then quickly regain his stance. Ansem’s smug face had not changed. “Would he still if he couldn’t recognize you?” 

Riku  _ knew  _ this was just his mind trying to fool him. He knew he shouldn’t be surprised that his most hated rival was the one bringing up his darkest fears. But it was a dream, and he was losing control. His back burned as Ansem pulsed with darkness. Bending in pain, Riku cried out, heart racing, muscles shaking. A dark guardian grew from his back, the darkness burning him wherever it touched. Ansem laughed and laughed, the train speeding up and feeling out of control. The darkness grew to be oppressive in the small train car, the heartless on Riku’s back grabbing his neck from behind and squeezing, burning, making him cry out and shake, trying to pull it off of him. He clawed at its hands, his own fingers tiny next to those of darkness, struggling to get in a breath. He cried out: “Sora…!”

It always worked. Every time Riku had needed to call on him, Sora had been there. They figured it was since their hearts were linked now, Sora could be pulled from a deeper phase of sleep into the dream. Riku didn’t want to have to do it because he knew Sora needed his rest, too, but he had no choice. He willed that his boyfriend appear, open the train car door, push Ansem aside, touch his face and remind him what it was like to not be in pain. But after a beat, it became clear that Sora wasn’t going to come. Riku cried in anguish, yelling, struggling for breath. Now, all he wished was to wake up. The pressure from the guardian on his back was overwhelming; it felt too real to be a dream. Riku’s heart raced in his chest as the train whistle blew, going faster and faster, inertia leaving him behind.

He woke with a start, still panting, still struggling for breath. For a second, he was stuck – still half in the dream, not quite awake. The pressure was still there on his chest and he couldn’t move. All he could do was stare off into the Realm of Darkness to metres away where a hooded figure watched him sleep. His breaths were tiny and forced but his heart raced in his chest. Riku’s mind was going a mile a minute, terrified beyond reasonable belief, worrying that someone had actually found them and if he couldn’t get his body to work, he and the King might be dead before he ever got to see Sora again. His shallow breaths grew more rapid as the figure raised his arm, preparing to lower his hood. 

Before that happened, Riku fully woke up, shooting up from the ground, gasping for air. He was shaking with adrenaline, feeling sick. He leapt to his feet, keyblade in his hand in an instant, lighting the tip to explore the surroundings. He spun, illuminating the dark ground around them, convinced that the hooded figure had been real. But there was no trace. He tried to convince himself it had just been a dream, but the whole thing made him feel sick. 

He remained panicked for a long time. He didn’t want to bother the King, so he didn’t wake him. After a thorough perimeter of their area, his eyes grew weary and he trudged back to his sleeping bag on the cold ground, body exhausted but mind racing. He laid for a long time, tracing the line between him and Sora over and over, their hearts out of synch with his own racing and Sora’s calm and peaceful. Part of him wanted to get up, wanted to sneak the gummi phone away from the King and call Sora and wake him up and make sure everything was alright. He managed to convince himself he was overreacting and tried to put his mind to rest, tried not to feel anxious about Ansem, about his own heart or the looming darkness around him. He tried to load his heart with feelings of fondness for Sora, a trick that always worked to make him strong, but tonight, every thought about Sora was coupled with the question of why wasn’t he there. 

Eventually, Riku got back to sleep. It took him far longer than it should have, and he never really got rested. He would sleep a little, then the stressful feelings would bring him back to being nearly awake, then he’d sleep some more until the next wave of paranoia came over him. He only had one more dream, hardly assembled, more of just images and sounds than a whole world. He dreamed of stormy clouds, rough seas. He was standing somewhere dark, listening. He could hear Sora’s voice: “Riku? Riku!” but he couldn’t tell if it was real or not. 

He had to try. He called Sora’s name, running through the darkness but not getting anywhere. The more he heard Sora, the less it sounded like him, the more the voice sounded like his mom, or his dad, or Kairi. Suddenly, very loudly from behind him was Sora’s voice, clear as day. “Riku?”

He woke again with a jolt, feeling that he hadn’t slept at all. He rolled over, trying to slow his breathing, trying to lessen his distress. Still half asleep, impulsivity pushed him to do things he wouldn’t normally. He crawled out of the sleeping bag, creeping over to where the King slept and snuck his hand into their travelling pack. He dug out the gummi phone, which Chip and Dale had wisely entrusted to Mickey – Riku knew that if it were in his control, he would constantly be talking to Sora. He took a breath, trying to steady himself and make himself as presentable as possible. He opened it and face-called Sora, staring at his dim reflection in the screen, waiting, wishing that Sora would pick up. 

He rang out and tried not to be disappointed. He tried his best to keep a brave face, hiding his dejection even when no one was watching. He wasn’t surprised Sora didn’t answer. Sora hardly answered his phone even when he was awake; he could have just been asleep or not noticed. Riku didn’t know why he’d bothered, returning the phone. It was already five a.m.; he knew he wouldn’t be getting any rest tonight, so he resigned himself to getting up, wrapping his blanket around his shoulders like an enormous shawl, walking to find somewhere to sit to take his mind off things. He sat on a crystalline rock, still in view of their camp, summoning his master key and tracing it over with his hands. He reminded himself how far he’d come, how much he’d sacrificed to become a master. He had to be in control of his emotions; he knew how to handle his heart. He took a couple deep breaths, acknowledging his frustration but not acting on it. He didn’t want to cry, he didn’t want to swear. He was worried about Sora, but he wasn’t going to lose himself. 

A few hours later, Mickey stirred and Riku rose to meet him. The King could immediately tell that something was wrong. “Riku… you look like you’ve barely slept.”

“I haven’t,” Riku admitted. “I couldn’t. It’s not a big deal.” 

Mickey set his jaw. “If you’re sure.” 

Meanwhile, worlds away, Sora was waking up from his trance, chasing Rapunzel, fighting heartless. Defeating the massive heartless, Sora, Donald and Goofy ascended the tower only to find a scene they hardly expected – to find Flynn, near death, in Rapunzel’s arms. Sora, still raging with adrenaline from the past battle, was struck so suddenly by the overwhelming sadness of the room. The realization, the confession, the loss… it made his heart hurt and pale. There was a pensive second, there, where he was envisioning himself, realizing that all he wanted was to be with Riku and he shouldn’t have wasted so much time apart from him. 

But Rapunzel was powerful in a way Sora didn’t know – her magic was able to bring Flynn back, changing the mood just as quickly as it had dropped. Sora was unbelievably relieved, filled with exultation, satisfied and complete. 

He couldn’t shake the hurt in his heart quite so easily, though. Sitting in the gummi ship after the mission, Sora finally thought to check his gummi phone. He was a little shocked to see a missed call from the King. “Huh. 4:45 am? I better call them back to make sure everything’s okay,” Sora crossed his arms as Goofy and Donald crowded around the phone. 

Mickey was the one digging the phone out as he and Riku walked. “Hiya, Sora,” Mickey picked up, Riku in a tired trance hardly realizing what was going on. 

“Your Majesty!” Donald and Goofy pushed Sora out of the way. “Why did you call us yesterday?” 

“Huh?” Mickey stopped now and Riku was forced to stop as well. “I, uh, don’t think I did? Mighta done so accidentally…” 

Riku was catching on to what was happening, “oh, Mickey, I called him. Sorry.” 

Sora’s heart sped up and his face started to heat. “Oops.” 

“Why’d you call him at night?” Donald accused. 

Riku was under pressure now too, embarrassed to be doing this in front of their three superiors. “I… I was just checking in. Sora, are you alright?” 

“Yeah,” Sora shrugged him off. “Some weird stuff happened but I’m totally great! You look  _ really _ tired and,” Sora realized what he was saying halfway through, nodding his head. “Hah.” 

Riku gave him a tight-lipped smile, not wanting to have to explain their secret to the king right now. “I’m fine, too. Glad you’re doing well.” 

“You too,” Sora’s heart was racing at the threat of being caught, conflicted with his resolution to wait no longer to be with Riku. “I’m sorry I didn’t let you know I was safe,” he carefully chose, then finished, “okayyy, talk to you later.” He hung up quickly, stuffing the phone back in his pocket. 

In the Realm of Darkness, Riku’s face was unbearably hot, staring at the dark screen where Sora had just been. Mickey noticed his greater than usual distress, extending a hand to Riku’s arm. “Riku, is something wrong?” 

Riku bit his lip and shook his head. “No. I’m fine.” Mickey knew that wasn’t the truth, crossing his arms. “I’m just,” Riku ran a hand through his messy hair, “I’m not in the best frame of mind today.” 

“Listen, if this has got something to do with Sora…” the King easily put the pieces together. “I get it. I know what it’s like to be apart from your best friend. And Sora…” he gave a sheepish smile, “If Sora’s your special somebody… there really ain’t nothing wrong with that. In ancient times, many keyblade masters chose to live out their lives together –” 

Riku’s eyes widened, a little more aware now. “Really?”

Mickey nodded. “It was pretty common for masters to bond their hearts after years of training together.”

“So…” Riku tried to hide the excitement in his heart at the possibility of a lifetime with Sora. “ _ If  _ I wanted to be in a relationship… being a master doesn’t affect that at all?” 

“Why would it?” Mickey rhetorically asked. “Oh, there is one thing I remember, though – masters are supposed to be sworn under an oath of celibacy! Gosh, Master Yen Sid taught me all about it years ago when I was in training…”

Riku faltered, not expecting the conversation to go in this direction at all, trying to hide his shock with a wide-eyed smile. “O-Oh… okay.   I mean, I guess that makes sense…” He was blushing, uneager to have this conversation with the King right now. 

“Anywho,” thankfully, Mickey redirected the conversation, “You should discuss with Yen Sid if you’re having concerns or questions. He’s well versed in the history of the keyblade – that’s where I learned everything I know!” 

“Thanks, Mickey,” Riku was still a little flustered, but feeling overall better. The thought of a lifetime with Sora wasn’t bad at all, and Riku decided that it would give him the strength to carry on through the day, desperately eager to catch up with Sora. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone, just a couple updates on this story. Sorry it's slowed down, but I've been busy with school; I'm still aiming to have it finished in the next two months. It should be around ten chapters in total? Enjoy :)

The next night couldn’t come soon enough. Riku was still exhausted from the previous night’s lack of sleep, and Sora was more than ready to see his boyfriend face to face again. He convinced Goofy and Donald that they shouldn’t head to a new world before nightfall and instead gathered treasures and took pictures of constellations. Once it got acceptably late, Sora pretended to be exhausted and excused himself for bed early, as he knew Riku must be doing as well. 

It didn’t take either of them long to fall asleep, and when they did, they were in a dream shortly after. Just as Sora had planned the previous night, he came to sitting in the massive field of dandelions, waiting for Riku. He had so much to tell Riku, but he was nervous and felt guilty; he’d abandoned Riku last night and left him alone with his nightmares. Things with Riku were getting serious fast – Sora couldn’t deny what he was feeling. 

He was lying on his back, soaking in the imaginary sun, trying his best to quell his anxious mind. When a set of fingers twined with his, he opened his eyes and rolled over to find his boyfriend, peaceful beside him. “Riku!” Sora exclaimed, overwhelmed with joy, leaping over, rolling onto Riku, enthusiastically kissing him, holding him close, their hearts finally reunited as they were chest to chest. 

Riku had barely entered the dream and was a little surprised to be tackled by Sora, but he wouldn’t fight it. He embraced Sora, hugging him with desperate strength. They stayed entwined in each other’s arms for a good few minutes until the words started rushing out. They both had so much to explain, so much to say. 

“I’m so sorry I left you alone last night!” Sora gushed, sitting up in the field. “Weird things were happening, this guy who said he knew me but I didn’t remember came and put a spell on me so I passed out for like, twelve hours, and I didn’t dream or anything—“

“What?” Riku’s eyebrows furrowed with concern. “Hey, that sounds serious…”

Sora played it off, “I woke up totally fine. I’m just…” he huffed. “I wish I’d told you. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Riku’s hand found its way to the side of his face. 

“I…” Sora was getting emotional. He looked at the world around him. “I realized when I was in this world that you really mean a lot to me. I don’t want to spend time apart from you.” 

“Sora,” Riku could tell that he was getting upset, sitting up as well so they could be eye to eye. “Our hearts are together. No matter where we are, we aren’t apart.” 

“I  _ know,  _ but it’s not the same!” Sora pouted. “All I want is to be around you. Every day, all the time…”

Riku had a bemused smile on his face. “Sora. That’s all I want too. That’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

“Really?” Sora’s thrilled face warmed Riku’s heart. 

“Of course,” Riku got to his feet. “Once this is all over? That’s what I’m working for.” He extended a hand down to Sora. 

Sora took it. “That’s perfect! Oh, Riku, I can’t wait to show you around this world, it is  _ so  _ romantic!” 

The two wandered, catching each other up, assuring each other that things were fine although their feelings were intensifying quickly. It had been a long time since Riku had been in a forest as lush as that of Corona. Sora led him through fields of wildflowers, tall green trees, all the way down to the shore where they could finally see the kingdom itself. 

Riku was filled with that same normal relief that he always had around Sora, all doubts from his mind gone with those soft fingers clutching his. It was now Sora’s turn to enjoy a day in the city, showing Riku the markets, the docks, their dream sun setting in record time. Sora and Riku found a boat and paddled out to the basin, laying on the wood together, relaxed, at ease, happy. 

“It looks like you’ve been having a lot of fun,” Riku admired the world of Sora’s imagination. “I hope that you and I will still be able to have some fun adventures once all the work is over.” 

“We will,” Sora’s arms were behind his head as he stared up at the million stars above him. They lay there for a minute, completely at peace. Riku almost felt like he was going to lapse into deeper sleep but Sora squeezed his hand. “Wait. We haven’t reached the best part yet.” 

The two sat up as an orange glow originated from the castle, like distant dawn, slowly glowing until the first of the lanterns peaked over the buildings. Riku’s eyes were wide, shocked at the beauty. He turned back to Sora. “Is this real? Did this really happen?”

“Yes!” Sora enthused. “I’ll take you here for real, okay?” 

Slowly, Riku faced the kingdom again, watching the sky fill with light. It was magical, just as amazing as the first time Sora had seen it, but now so much more special that he was sharing it with someone. When Riku turned back, he found Sora with a lantern of his own in his hand, casting him in a warm glow. 

“I get it,” Riku suddenly said, “It’s cause you’re my light in the dark, Sora.” 

“What?” Sora had a clueless smile. “No, Riku. You’re mine.” Riku’s eyes widened. “You’ve always been…” he smiled sheepishly. 

Riku couldn’t help but snort a laugh. “Are you serious?” he was waiting for Sora to joke it off as well. “I- _I’m_ the one who fell to darkness.” 

Sora shrugged. “Yeah, but you learned how to master it. You know how to balance darkness and light. That’s just… you’re amazing.” 

Riku was so stunned. Sora had the amazing way of comforting him, putting his worst fears to rest. He scooted forward and squeezed Sora’s hand, more comforted than his boyfriend knew. “Thank you,” he softly said. 

Together, they lifted their hands, releasing their lantern, letting it light the sky, basking in the glow until they each finally lapsed into deeper sleep. 

This was how things were supposed to be.

They made it to another dream, this time of Riku’s creation. They arrived nearly together this time on the rooftop of Twilight Town, the sun setting, the air fragrance, a luxurious meal laid out before them, glasses of red faux-wine sitting waiting for them. 

“I could talk to you for hours,” Riku started, gazing dreamily at his boyfriend.

“It feels like we’ve been together for so long,” Sora pulled Riku’s seat back politely for the latter to sit. “It’s hard to believe it’s only been, like, a week since I’ve seen you.” 

“We’ve been on so many dates, it’s weird to think about when you weren’t mine,” Riku’s eyes followed Sora as he went to sit. “Mickey and I lost Aqua’s trace so I think we’re going back to the Mysterious Tower tomorrow.” 

“Really?” Sora’s eyes widened. “I kind of have to check back in, too. I might get to see you!” 

Riku looked down at their meal. “I can’t wait. I’m so excited to see you again.”

“I’m still really excited about this,” Sora extended a hand to Riku and embraced it on the table. “We have so much fun here. This is amazing.” 

“Only the best for my boyfriend,” Riku half-joked, trying to cover up just how sincere he was. “You’re right, it is so nice having this. I don’t,” he was a bit sad, “I don’t need to see you as desperately as I have in the past.” 

Sora’s eyes were gentle. “Yeah. It’s really like you’re here.” He released Riku’s hand to pick up his fork. “I don’t know what it’s going to be like seeing you face to face again. Part of me just wants to hug you and never let you go.” 

Riku knew what that feeling was like. “If you do, I don’t think it will be a big deal. Mickey kind was totally cool with us being together,” Riku was finally recounting. “I mean, I didn’t actually tell him but he… kind of caught on after you called me today.” 

Sora grimaced and mumbled, “sorry,” but Riku was already shrugging him in comfort. “I don’t think Donald and Goofy realize yet. They might after tomorrow. I really don’t know what to expect.”

“It’s not a big deal; this is normal,” Riku was really nonchalant. “I’m sure they’ll take it fine if Mickey did.” He laughed, a little embarrassed, “He also told me all this stuff about how masters can live together for their whole lives, but they can’t have sex. Kinda weird but I thought you should know.” 

“Hmm,” Sora made a funny face, clearly trying to hide his embarrassment. “Like, with each other?”

“I think not at all,” Riku sipped his wine. “I dunno. Personally, I think it’s kind of stupid. Virginity is such a construct. How do you even  _ define _ celibacy these days?”

Sora giggled. “God, Riku, I really  _ really  _ don’t know.” 

Riku’s face was relaxed. “We’re just in a dream. This isn’t the same as real life. That’s why we have to have this conversation here. I just always wanna be open with you.”

“Well I kinda assumed I’d be doing things with you here,” Sora boldly said. Riku was taken aback. “I mean, like, when you’re ready,” Sora clarified. “Isn’t that what people do in relationships? This world is so perfect, shouldn’t we be able to? I don’t think it’ll be like the real thing. It definitely won’t break your master’s oath.”

“I mean, whenever you’re ready, too,” Riku specified. “We don’t have to rush things. We have so much time. And I think you’re right, like… no one’s ever gonna know. Things here are just for pretend, just for fun.”

“But like…” Sora grinned. “I really am ready when you are. I want to try things. And no matter what, I… I love you.” 

Riku’s heart suddenly thumped in his chest. “Wait… what?” 

Sora gasped. “Wait, did I—uhg!  _ Riku _ ! I was trying to save it for when we see each other in person tomorrow!! Grr…”

“Hey,” Riku touched his face, breathless with surprise and happiness. “I love you, too…” He smirked. “But you’ll hear it for real tomorrow.” 

That dream ended and the two contently slept, eager for the morning. However, they had one more dream before then. Sora came to in a soft red bed, the covers textured like rose petals. Riku was beside him, looking with soft teal eyes into Sora’s soul, so quiet and so intimate. One of his hands slid slowly under the covers, coming to rest high on Sora’s thigh, close to where his legs met. He licked his lips, not breaking eye contact with Sora. “Do you think… this is okay?”

“Yes!” Sora enthusiastically agreed, guiding his hand up more. “I mean… please?” 

Riku grinned and rolled over on top of Sora, grinning. “Absolutely.” 

It was  _ amazing.  _


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riku definitely watches the Bachelor to get ideas for dates with Sora :^)

The next morning, the two arrived at the Mysterious Tower at different times. Riku was in first with Mickey, so by the time Sora arrived, they were already before Yen Sid. The two were shockingly professional when they saw each other although both their hearts were beating out of control. When they finally got to be alone, there was a moment of shyness, Sora uncharacteristically quiet and Riku typically calm. “You know what I want to say,” Sora was almost sheepish. “Riku… I just… I love you…” 

They were back in Riku’s room on his bed. After the confession, they kissed each other desperately, wild with passion. When they finally broke apart, Riku’s hand rested on Sora’s cheek. “How did you get me to fall completely in love with you in a week?” he asked, enamoured.

Sora smirked, more like himself with the admission off his chest. “C’mon Riku, I know you’ve been thinking about it for longer than that. Our dreams, they just… they make everything better! Like, when I saw you today, it didn’t feel like it’s been a week. It keeps us together even when we’re worlds apart.” 

“... can we talk about last night?” Riku asked, suddenly somewhat nervous. 

“Yeah, it was the most incredible thing I’ve ever felt,” Sora was still glowing from it, toothy grin wide as he leaned back in awe, gazing up at the ceiling. “I mean, like, sure, I jack off now and then, but this was waaaaay better than real life.”

“I’ve never… given anyone else a handjob,” Riku admitted, his fair face becoming flushed. 

“You were amazing,” Sora beamed. “And tonight, I’m gonna return the favour, okay?”

Riku was excited, not used to being the flustered one. “You’re amazing…” he started to lean in for a kiss when Goofy suddenly threw their door open. 

“Hey fellers! Master Yen Sid wanted to know if y’all are good with tacos for lunch,” he asked before stopping himself, “Whooohoho! Erg… was I interrupting something here?”

“Goofy,” Sora got up and put his hands on your hips. “Do you mind?” 

“Tacos would be great,” Riku was standing too. “It’s fine. We’ll talk later.” 

Both left the tower after a few hours, continuing with each of their journeys. Sora was in a good mood, eager to journey on to new worlds. He found himself in a wintry world, falling in love with the snow, meeting some not-friends (Larxene, specifically) and landing himself in an ice maze that he knew would keep him away from the gummi ship overnight. Sora had known that he shouldn’t have headed to another world so late in the day, but he couldn’t change that now, so he made sure to let the most important person in the world know. 

“Guys, can we chill out for a second?” Sora asked. 

“Sora, if we stop, we’ll freeze,” Donald noted angrily. 

“It will literally just be for a second,” Sora pleaded. “We can even walk. I just wanna text Riku and let him know that we’re doing okay.”

“I’d hardly call this okay!” Donald quacked. 

“Y’know, Donald,” Goofy pulled him aside, talking quietly as Sora fiddled with his gummi phone. “I think we gotta give Sora a little slack. He an’ Riku are really close and I saw some kinda suspicious things at the tower–” 

“Hey!” Sora was overhearing. “Listen, guys…”

“C’mon, Sora, you’re not fooling anyone,” Donald turned blatantly back to him. “We see the way you are together.” 

“It’s not a big deal. I think it’s kinda cute,” Goofy cut in. Sora made an embarrassed sound, ducking his head. 

“Just don’t let it distract you!” Donald scolded. “Send your text message and focus on getting us out of here!” 

As embarrassed as Sora was, he couldn’t help but feel relieved with the truth off his chest. He couldn’t stop the small smile from forming on his face. Slowly, he formed a message to Riku.

_ Stuck in a maze tonight so I don’t know when I’ll get to sleep. If you have a bad dream, call me. _

Riku understood and was happy to get the message. The night wasn’t awful; he didn’t end up having to call Sora. He was still partially on the high from Sora’s declaration of love. Eventually, Sora was able to finish the maze and make his way through the rest of the world. He was surprised how much insight he was gaining into his own life in each new world he travelled too – hearing of Elsa’s struggles reminded him too much of Riku, making his heart hurt. He made special note to remind himself to tell Riku just how incredible he was the next night. 

When it finally came time to leave Arendelle, Sora was full of ideas and full of love for Riku. They waited until the evening fell, settled in, ready to be reunited. Riku was able to shape their first dream, making his way in first. They started out on a desert island somewhere tropical, warm, green waters all around. Riku was waiting with dark trunks, up to his chest in the sea. Sora beamed and rushed in, dressed in his swimsuit as well. What an amazing change to the freezing temperatures he’d been affronted with for the past 36 hours. They dove in, swimming and kissing in the water. It was as if the two were back home on their own private island of fate. 

As the day passed, the sun moved overhead. They swam out to sea, never tiring, hands brushing into each other, sand always underfoot when they needed a break. It was an escape; a foreshadowing of their future together, on the brink of the rest of their lives. After what felt like an eternity of relaxation, of freedom, a shore arrived. The two made their way closer until a straw-roofed house stuck out on a dock, close enough for them to know it was meant for them. 

Once they neared it, Riku lifted himself out of the water, dry very suddenly, and extended a hand down to Sora who followed him on. Inside the house, all they found was an enormous king bed. Riku quirked an eyebrow. “Is this really all that we’re about now?”

Sora chuckled. “We’ve got three more dates tonight to be serious. Let me have this.” He tugged Riku by the arms to the bed where they continued kissing. This time, it was Sora’s hands that were wandering – through Riku’s hair, tugging at his neck, squeezing his tangible biceps, pulling at his hips, cupping his ass, grinding between his legs. 

“Hey,” Sora pulled back, kissing his nose. “Relax. I’ve got this.” His hands pulled at Riku’s waistband. He started to scoot himself down, Riku completely unaware that he was about to receive the best head of his life. 

This dream was filled with passion, happiness, pure bliss between the two of them. It ended peacefully, the two lying in bed, Riku’s hand on Sora’s head and Sora’s hand on Riku’s arm. “I’ll see you shortly,” the brunette promised, squeezing Riku’s muscle. “My pick, okay?”

Nothing would make Riku happier. 

Sora took what he’d learned from Arendelle and assembled a similar winter wonderland, the kind Riku had probably never seen. Thankfully, they couldn’t be cold in his dream, but still, this time he was fitted with a warm coat. (Sora never wanted to be cold again.) Riku appeared from the woods, also bundled, cheeks tinged red. “Wow,” is all he had to say, gazing around in awe. 

“I know, isn’t it wonderful?” Sora gushed, spinning and flopping back, silhouette sinking into the snow. He sat up, the hood of his coat tinged white. “I love the snow!” 

“Really?” Riku asked skeptically, playfully, reaching down for Sora’s hand to pull him up. 

Sora took his hand but pulled him down into the snow with him. Riku couldn’t help but smile. “I do now. This is where I got stuck overnight!”

“And you were this happy then?” Riku teased. 

Sora got up now. “Well, maybe not then. Come on, we’ve got so much to see!” A reindeer suddenly exited the forest as well, pulling a pulling a white sleigh behind it. “There’s no better way to explore this world,” Sora announced, hopping in and pulling Riku up behind him.    
  
“Today’s not gonna be like our last date?” Riku looped an arm around Sora’s shoulders.    
  
Sora blushed a little bit. “I mean... I hope it ends that way...”   
  
“I’m teasing you!” he grinned and squeezed Sora even tighter. “That was passionate enough for days. I need to talk to you so bad!”    
  
“Me too,” Sora leaned into the embrace. “I realized a lot in this world.”    
  
Riku’s eyebrows pitched up. “You being serious? Some crazy stuff must have went down.”    
  
Sora rolled his eyes. “I guess, okay? I thought our last date would get the sass out of you.”    
  
Riku sighed. “You’re right, we can be serious. You just make me so happy.”   
  
“I know,” Sora smiled. “You make me happy too! Gosh, I don’t know why more people don’t just fall in love like this.” Riku’s grin got a bit smaller as the less favourable sides of love came to the front of his mind — unrequited love. The heartbreak of being apart from someone you care for. Being forced to hide for years — but Sora kept talking: “No one should ever resist falling in love because it’s soooo great!”   
  
He was right. Admitting his love for Sora was the best thing he had ever done, and he can’t help but notice that now with his smaller boyfriend in his arms, beaming, glowing, emanating heat as they glided through the snow. “You are extremely loving,” Riku decided, kissing Sora’s forehead quickly, “and I am very lucky. We’ll have time for a serious talk today. We don’t have to rush it.”    
  
Instead, the two enjoyed the scenery — snow covered trees, frozen ponds, heading up the mountain on a bright sunny day. Both couldn’t get over how cute the other was their winter coat, noses a little sniffly and cheeks a little red. Eventually, the reindeer let them off at a cabin, cozy and wooden, overlooking the basin as the sky finally started to turn orange. Outside, a campfire was roaring with two logs for them to sit on and enjoy the sunset.    
  
The date had been peaceful and reassuring so far — the two had talked of fairly light matters, enjoying each other’s company more than anything. Now, Sora’s hands fiddled inside his mittens.    
  
“This world isn’t normally like this, apparently,” Sora noted. “I met a girl named Elsa whose ice magic created this place. She was afraid and didn’t know how to use her power so she... she pushed away everyone in her life.” His eyes were sad as he turned to Riku. “That made me realize that’s what  _ you  _ did... after you gave into the darkness...” It was as hard for Sora to say as it was for Riku to hear.    
  
“I never really thought about why you did it,” Sora continued. “But it makes sense now. You thought that isolating yourself was the only way to keep me from getting hurt —“    
  
“I couldn’t live with myself if I let anything happen to you...” Riku cut in. “Not then, definitely not now. It would crush me.”    
  
“No no, let me finish,” Sora didn’t want things to get sad too fast: “You were ashamed. You wanted to hide it—you still do!” Riku looked down, his hands curled in his lap, but Sora reached over and placed his own on top. “Elsa learned that she had to accept it to control it, and I-I know that you’ve come to terms with it personally, but I...” he took a deep breath. “I feel like  _ you feel like _ you still have to hide it from me.”    
  
Riku got very quiet. Sora was spot on. “I still am ashamed,” he eventually admitted, “but I know it’s something about myself that I can’t change. I don’t like drawing attention to it.”    
  
“Riku,” Sora squeezed his hand. “I will never be ashamed. I will never be scared. Just the fact that you’ve handled it — that you’ve mastered the balance —“ when Riku looked up, Sora’s eyes were shining with awe. “It makes me so proud. Proud to be your friend, proud to be yours, proud to even know you.”    
  
Sora’s acceptance was the kind Riku could only dream of (how fitting for their current location). Riku couldn’t speak thanks to the lump in his throat, so instead he pulled Sora into an embrace, holding him close, pecking the side of his head, then pulling him back to look him in the eye. “What did I ever do to deserve this?”    
  
Sora smirked. “You’ve has it coming for years! I mean, c’mon, since when were you not my knight in shining armour?” Just like that, both of them were giggling through their teariness and Sora was hopping up as the sun slipped below the horizon. “C’mon, let’s go warm up in the cabin. I want to snuggle with you before our next date!”    
  
Riku happily obliged.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> UHGHUHghu this chapter took painfully long to write bc I don't like rewriting things that happened in the game. There are a couple of good scenes tho. Enjoy :)

Time passed strangely. Riku had returned to the dark realm with his master key, where days were so bleak and timeless. Sora traversed from world to world, gathering ideas and creating wonderful new places for the two of them to go on dates. There had yet to be any other major issues with their overlap despite little things; they were managing at a three-date minimum per night. Excess REM sleep made them both groggy and tired when they woke up, but this just made it easier for them to get to sleep the next night. Goofy and Donald were almost suspicious at Sora’s eagerness to head back to the ship every night, but he had the reputation of a heavy sleeper; it shouldn’t have come off as out of the ordinary.

A few uneventful, wonderful nights had passed. This night in particular, the two had shared a day in the streets of Paris, walking around Notre Dame hand in hand. The church bells ringing made them dream about the day they would be wed.

“I’m so happy it’s a real thing between masters!” Sora was excitedly telling Riku. “I know that once this is all over, we’re probably not going to have to do this as much, but I get that. I’m excited to spend every day with you. Our life together is enough of an adventure for me.”

“Waking up next to you would be a dream come true,” Riku squeezed Sora’s hand.

“Once we stop Xehanort, I’ll redo my Mark of Mastery exam, hopefully with Kairi and Lea!” Sora announced. “Then one day we can get engaged and then married. I’ve never even been to a wedding!”

“Me neither,” Riku was grinning, “but we have lots of time to figure it out. We don’t have to rush anything.”

“Hopefully Master Yen Sid will let us move in with each other, then we can buy a house – we can live wherever you want because whenever I’m with you, I’m home,” Sora was starry-eyed. “We can visit worlds together. I’ll teach you to drive the gummi ship – it’s not hard! I mean, I figured it out.”

“Tell me more about our house,” Riku was enjoying this fantasy.

“We could live back on Destiny Islands,” Sora suggested, “And have a big house with a big backyard. Oh, Riku, we could teach keyblade wielders together! We could open our own school with Kairi! Wouldn’t that be wonderful?”

“I’d like that,” Riku was head over heels.

After their day, they wandered to the outskirts of town, church bells ringing, to a cabin. More amazing sex ensued, and lying in bed after face to face, both of them were the happiest they’d ever been. The hardest part of Riku’s day was shutting his eyes to Sora’s sweet, round face, then opening them to the coldness of the Realm of Darkness. This morning in particular, this stark contrast made him especially sad: he was realizing more each passing day how much he wanted to spend every minute with Sora. Things felt kind of hopeless on his part — finding Aqua was proving to be much more daunting than it had first seemed. He wasn’t even sure why Mickey had recommend returning to the Realm of Darkness; last time, Riku had nearly been lost on that shore. He would much rather be with Sora, exploring, than here, wandering somewhat aimlessly.

But he put on a brave face, as always, getting himself up, trying his best to be enthusiastic. They ended up back on that same dark shore, fighting the same demon tower that they had last time, but Riku knew his heart was strong. He was fighting for his life, for Sora’s, for Aqua’s so they would all have a future after this was all over.

When Mickey was absorbed, Riku’s confidence began to falter.

When Aqua emerged, cloaked in darkness, he didn’t know what to think anymore.

It felt like a nightmare. Everything they’d done was pointless — their guardian of light was lost, they were too late. When the demon tower regrouped, Riku braced himself, ready to give it his all. He used everything he had in the book, but he wasn’t strong enough. He was losing, panting, muscles aching, mind racing. How long would it take for everyone to notice the beacon from Mickey’s gummi phone was gone? How long would it take Sora to notice if his heart wasn’t around anymore? Was he going to fall to darkness again?

He blocked an oncoming attack, the sheer force sending him sliding back along the glassy water, struggling for air. Just like a bad dream, his need ended up showing and it slipped out: “Sora…”

The second he said it, he knew he was stupid. He knew Sora wasn’t going to be able to save him from this.

But fate had other things in mind. As the word left his lips, a glistening star expanded on the black sky above him, golden light shining down, catching his eye. From the portal, a familiar silhouette descended into the darkness, rapidly falling, landing beside him and sending water rippling around. Riku’s mouth hung open in shock, in relief. Sora straightened up, smiling. “I made it!” he beamed, meeting Riku’s eyes.

Face to face like that, it was easy to see how in tune their hearts were. The two of them were coupled, just like their hearts. They didn’t need to say a thing, they assume the stance, touched the backs of their hands together, and their magnificent dual blade appeared between them, powerful enough to split the demon tower right down the middle.

It spit the King out, back onto the shore. In a moment of distraction, Riku started to rush toward him, ignoring Aqua revealed as the demon tide diminished. As she started to rush him, fear pulsed and he tried his best to turn, summoning his keyblade in a flash, trying his best to block. There was a collision, a massive splash of cold water. His teeth were ground, eyes clenched. As the water started to settle, Riku was shocked to find Sora in front of him, his blade against Aqua’s, defending his life. He was exhausted, and Sora was glowing with confidence. He trusted his boyfriend enough to let him face Aqua, watching proudly as he won. They ended up back on destiny islands, Aqua in the light, his arm on Sora’s shoulder and Sora’s on his waist.

Riku was exhausted from the battle, unbelievably proud of Sora’s newfound strength and ability to arrive at the most pivotal time. With them just seeing each other for their dates, it felt like ages since he’d last seen his boyfriend fight and he could hardly believe just how much progress had been made. They only had a brief chance to talk, since Sora was eager not to stop. Riku knew it was best he return to the Mysterious Tower, but Sora continued off with Aqua who was desperate to wake Ven.

Riku was shocked by how easily they succeeded. He’d been back in his room for an hour or two, soaking his body in his bathtub and lying on a real bed for the first time in weeks. When Yen Sid called them all up to his room, he was taken by surprise, but eagerly put on his battle gear again and ventured upwards.

All of a sudden, they keyblade war was almost upon them. Standing there, it was no longer just Sora and Riku, but all seven of their guardians of light were there (eight, now counting Ventus). Even being next to Sora was amazing – their hearts were at rest when they were close by. The Master debriefed them on what to expect, and they were dismissed. It was time for one night off before the battle of their lives.

Sora took Riku and Kairi in the gummi ship back to Destiny Islands. How nice it was for the three of them to finally be together again, for Kairi to get to fill them in on how much she’d learned, how excited she was. They arrived at sunset, waves quietly crashing. It felt weird to finally be home, after all these years.

“Do you guys mind if I have a minute alone?” Riku asked. He had some personal demons that needed attention.

“No prob,” Kairi grinned, grabbing Sora’s hand and eagerly pulling him out towards the crooked tree.

The three of them watched the sun go down and lingered for longer than that as well. Once Riku’s head was on straight, he came out to join them, bringing a blanket from the back of the gummi ship as the sky got dark and the three got cold. It was fun, just like old times, each sharing stories and enjoying each other’s company.

Eventually, they got tired and Sora took them home. Kairi headed to her room and Sora pretended to head to his, instead detouring and trailing Riku into his own. They shook off their sandy shoes by Riku’s door, noses chilly from the evening air, shedding their overcoats and gloves and belts and lying on Riku’s bed.

“Kairi and I shared a Paopu fruit,” Sora admitted her suddenly, a guilty little wrinkle on his nose. “I think she kind of feels like she’s gonna get left behind when we’re done with all this.”

Riku was so sure of their relationship, he wasn’t even phased. “Sora, I’m not mad. She’s my best friend too, obviously I want her in my life as well. It’s cute.”

“I told her about us too, I hope you don’t mind that,” Sora cuddled in closer. “I feel like people are starting to catch on. We’ll tell everyone after this is all over.”

“I can’t wait,” Riku hugged Sora’s chest to his. “All I want are more nights like tonight. It was so nice to be home.”

“One more day,” Sora leaned back so he could look at Riku’s face, look him right in the eye. “Tomorrow night will be so different.”

Riku put his hand was in Sora’s hair. “You’re going to be great.”

“You too,” Sora smiled. “I mean, you have been time and time again. When have you _ever_ let anyone down?”

Riku didn’t want things to get serious, but they were going to be. “Look, I… I’m sorry I was ever jealous of you. You’re special, Sora, everyone knows it.”

“I dunno,” Sora bashfully said. “You think so?”

“There’s just something about you,” Riku’s hand moved to his cheek. “I’ve never been so confident. I know in my heart that you will always do the right thing.”

“I won’t let you down,” Sora hugged him tight.

“I trust you,” Riku spoke into the top of his head. “I love you.” The two lingered there as long as possible, a deep union of arms, hearts beating side by side. Eventually, as the night stretched on, Sora dragged himself off to his own bed, knowing that if he stayed, he’d end up breaking Riku’s oath.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Major spoilers in this chapter. 
> 
> (& bust out the tissues ;-;)

The two barely slept that night, lying in their own bed, dozing off for a bit but waking up seemingly every hour, staring at the clock, waiting down the biggest battle of their life. The next day was a blur. Riku defended Sora’s life. Sora reached what was maybe the lowest low he ever had. Sora held Riku’s heart in his hands and wandered to Purgatory. Sora received the  _ X _ -blade from Xehanort and sealed Kingdom Hearts with his own hands. 

But then he had to search for Kairi. 

Riku understood. He trusted Sora. He trusted their coupled hearts, their bond, their dreams. He trusted  _ fate _ . He was willing to let him go. 

It wasn’t long until Sora departed. They had no time alone. Those few days were very tense – everyone waiting to be exalted about their success but not wanting to be too eager until everyone made it back safely. Riku’s heart felt distant, off in some other realm, hopefully giving Sora strength. He was left in stasis, waiting for a sign from either of them. He couldn’t think, couldn’t feel. He needed Sora back. 

He wasn’t surprised that they couldn’t dream together. He knew that Sora’s main goal now was not to go on frilly dates and talk about weddings and kiss for hours. Things were serious, Riku got that. He had no way of knowing if Sora was awake, asleep, alright, terrified — trying to trace their connection was useless since he couldn’t even find his own heart to start the path. He felt awful; he could hardly sleep anyway, constantly waking up and thinking that someone was approaching his door, coming to tell him that they made it back. He spent hours, nearly days, sitting on the shores of destiny islands, waiting for them, staring out to the sea and hoping that somewhere on the other side, Sora was staring back. Aqua had asked him, “How long as you going to wait?” to which Riku replied, “as long as he needs me.”

It took four days. Four days of waiting, praying, cautious optimism. 

It was only Riku on the shores that day — earlier, the others sometimes waited with him. There was a high overcast, the sign that autumn was about to begin on the Islands. Riku was waiting, sandy clothes, nearly in a trance, staring at where the sea met the sky. 

It started with ripples, like tiny bubbles coming to the surface. He noticed.  He was on his feet in a second, craning his neck, trying to figure out if he imagined it. As the waves grew, he ran into the water, ignoring the cold, up to his knees where Kairi suddenly surfaced, gasping for air. 

“Kairi!” Riku cried, stumbling over to her, grabbing her hands and steadying her. He was unbelievably, almost painfully, relieved, pulling her into a tight embrace. There was a time when he’d almost been convinced that he’d never see either of his best friends again. 

“Riku…” she said quietly, sinking into his arms. “Riku…” 

He released her a bit, hands still gripping her shoulders. Her eyes were sad and teary and scared — I mean, anyone would be after what she’d been through. She looked away, trying to pull in closer again. Something was wrong. Riku reached for her hands but she pulled away again. She was shaking, unable to meet his gaze. Riku knew something was wrong. “I’m so stupid…” she mumbled, pulling in closer, her voice breaking. 

The colour drained from Riku’s face. “Kairi… what are you saying… where’s Sora…” 

She didn’t have to say it. Her teary eyes were clear as day. Riku’s chest felt like it was going to collapse, like his heart was ripped out. He lost himself for a second, releasing Kairi and facing the horizon and screaming, “SORA!” like that was going to be his beacon back.

“This is all my fault…” Kairi whispered, tears silently falling down her cheeks, melding with the ocean, so insignificant, so useless. 

It wasn’t her fault. It was Riku’s fault. He should never have let Sora go on his own — he shouldn’t have trusted fate. His keyblade was in his hand in a second, back still to Kairi. “I’m going after him,” he said decidedly. 

“Riku,” Kairi weakly sobbed, “He’s gone, he’s dead. There’s no going after him this time…” 

She was right. Riku was so powerless — there was nothing he could do. He was being impulsive; that’s what Sora would have done. Riku has the onus of a Keyblade Master sitting on his shoulders now. He had to be in control. He let his keyblade go and took a deep breath, holding his anger and his despair inside, turning back to Kairi, not letting himself feel. He had to focus on getting Kairi home safe now. Sora wasn’t gonna get her this far for the two of them to freeze to death in the sea. 

He couldn’t stop his eyes from filling with tears. “Okay,” was all he said, sniffing back tears. It broke her to see her best friend trying so hard to stay strong. She had never seen him cry before. The two walked to shore, both quivering, both unbearably sad.

Riku was able to keep it together until they got back to the mysterious tower, able to help Kairi up the stairs to Yen Sid’s room. The two of them, still wet from the ocean, were wrapped in soft towels, then Kairi could tell the Master and Mickey about where she’d ended up, how Sora had had to give up his heart and his soul for her to even have a chance at returning back. Riku was numb. 

“Think about it, fellas,” Mickey was talking. “It was Sora’s choice to make. You know he wouldn’t be okay if it was anyone else that didn’t make it back.” 

Riku’s fist clenched.  _ Shut the fuck up. He isn’t yours to talk about.  _ But he forced it to relax, shoving his anger down, forcing himself to speak: “You’re right.” His voice was too small. He could hardly focus on what they were saying; once lapse in concentration and the tears would be rolling again. They talked about horrible things — logistics, how they were gonna tell the others, what kind of funeral or plaque they were going to have. God, none of Sora had even come back! Riku felt ready to throw up. 

Kairi’s voice was hoarse and she hadn’t stopped crying yet. Yen Sid looked tired, that same serious expression on his face. “You two had best return to your rooms and rest. Leave the rest to us, please.” 

Riku wanted to be there for every step. He wanted Mickey to tell him that some way, any way, he could get Sora back. Even if it meant giving himself up to the darkness, he was desperate, because a life without Sora would be a life without ever being whole again. But he felt ready to collapse with the sheer effort of holding back his emotion, so when Kairi finally turned and snuck out, he followed. 

They walked through the hall, Kairi sniffling, and Riku started to lose it. The sobs started coming and he lurched to the side, leaning on the hall, covering his face. Kairi noticed, turning, coming back to him and trying to hug him, “oh, Riku…” 

He slipped to the floor, head between his knees, tears flowing down his cheeks now. He couldn’t speak, his throat was completely closed. What had he done to deserve this? Kairi sat next to him in the hall until he found the strength to pull himself to his feet and stumble to his room, locking the door behind him without a word to her. He lay on the bed and sobbed, trying his best to stay quiet, his whole body hurting, until his pillowcase was soaked. 

His chest felt empty. His heart, coupled with Sora, was gone forever, gone just like the light of his life. He cried himself into dehydration, his body too listless to do anything else. He just kept telling himself that he needed to get it out now so he could be okay tomorrow, so he could pull it together and pretend to be okay. He wasn’t supposed to cry. He had to be strong.  

An hour or so later, there was a commotion downstairs. Riku watched from his window as Roxas stormed out of the tower, angry tears streaming down his face, the King trying to follow. “I’m done!” Roxas screamed, summoning both keyblades and tossing them into the ground where they stuck, running off. He wouldn’t get far; where would he go? 

The first few days out were terribly grim. Riku didn’t cry in public again: instead, he let his tears out in the shower, he cried himself to sleep every night, clawing at his sheets that still just barely smelled like Sora, and forced himself to keep it together in the day, mindlessly wandering wherever he was needed. Everyone seemed to be crying all the time and he was ever the shoulder to cry on. Every memory was painful — Sora had so much to live for, it wasn’t fucking fair! Everything in Riku’s life was a cruel reminder now: the gummi ship without a captain, every photo and text message on his phone. He couldn’t go home because home wasn’t a place without Sora there. 

It was a quiet cloudy afternoon a few days after and Riku was feeling especially weak. Everyone else had left the dinner table — it had been a particularly painful meal with Xion unusually weepy (and telling everyone a bittersweet story about times in Sora’s heart, about how comfortable he made her) and Riku was hurting. He was left sitting at the long table, staring at the wood and the plate still-full of food before him. 

He wasn’t quite alone. Axel sat a little ways down, his meal long finished, awkwardly lingering in an attempt to be sympathetic. Riku raised his head a degree, eyes meeting Axel’s which had been locked on him for the last fifteen minutes. “Hey buddy,” Axel finally spoke, sliding over a couple seats until he was sitting directly across from Riku. “What’s up?” 

Riku didn’t want to do this. Axel wasn’t his friend — they’d hardly talked to each other before. They were not buddies. Roxas and Xion came back and boom, all of a sudden, Axel was in dad mode and thought he could fix everyone’s problems. Riku didn’t know what to say.  _ What was up _ ? What was wrong with him? 

Something about being pushed to the emotional limit and the lack of anyone else around made him say something he wasn’t proud of. “Have you ever wanted to die?” It was mean; it was selfish. It wasn’t something a keyblade Master would say. He felt like his bratty younger self again, desperate for attention, constantly upset.  

Axel hadn’t anticipated the conversation going this way. “I mean… yes?” he answered Riku’s rhetorical question, lifting his arm, finally free of its long sleeves, revealing silver scars dancing up and down. “So why don’t we talk about it?” 

Riku faced the table again. “Sora’s gone,” he croaked. “And I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s gonna hurt,” Axel admitted. “It fucking sucks. But you don’t have to go through it alone, huh? We’re all hurting.” 

“I know,” Riku put his face in his hands. “It’s just… it’s not the same.”

“He was your best friend,” Axel was trying his best to be empathetic. “Losing Roxas was awful, I can tell you that.” 

_ But Roxas came back.  _ Roxas was never really gone. They spent a year apart and now Roxas was alive forever and Sora wouldn’t be again. “He’s not just my best friend,” Riku admitted. 

“You loved him?” Axel inferred. 

That’s right, no one even knew how much Sora meant to him. This was the hard part of loving – Riku had given his entire heart to Sora, and now what was left over of Sora’s life was his too. Riku closed his eyes, shaking his head. He got up. 

Axel was now trying to talk him off the ledge: “Hey, it’s okay. I know you’re in pain, but it’s gonna get better. You don’t really want to die.”

At least that was true. Wherever you go after you die was too far away to reach, so he knew that wouldn’t reunite him with Sora. He wasn’t stupid, he wasn’t actually going to do anything. Dealing with everything just sucked right now. Axel was on his feet now, too, trying to keep him from leaving. “C’mon, tell me about him.” 

“It’s none of your business,” Riku pushed past him, chest aching and eyes burning. He was embarrassed beyond belief, regretting everything he’d said. He was tired of hurting. 

Riku couldn’t shake the unease from his gut. He knew what he had to do. Aqua and her friends were departing back to their own land shortly — they’d stayed around while everyone was grieving — but in the meantime they’d been given rooms in the Mysterious Tower. Riku ventured up the unfamiliar steps to the wing in which he knew they must be staying. At the end of the hall, the three were there, sitting on the window bench, playing a board game by candlelight. Riku’s heart ached, wishing he’d ever get this chance with Sora and Kairi again. 

He awkwardly lingered at the hall, trying to remember what exactly he’d wanted to say. “M-Master Aqua,” he stuttered, stepping closer. “Can I have a word? Uh, if you’ve got a sec…” 

Aqua’s face was relaxed and polite. “Yeah, of course.” She stood, touching Terra’s arm briefly. “You guys keep going without me, Ven can play my turn.” She lead Riku a little ways away to her guest room, a place a little more private for them to talk. It was a pleasant, somewhat bland room — bed, desk and chair, and a little couch. Aqua sat, starting, “Also, just Aqua is fine. I usually skip the formalities with my friends.” 

Riku nodded and hummed, taking a seat as well and folding his hands. Friends, huh. He didn’t really know how to lead in to what he wanted to say. Thankfully, Aqua continued to make pleasant conversation. “Also, I didn’t personally get to thank you yet,” she went on. “I really appreciate you coming to find me. I don’t think I’d ever willingly go back to that place, but you did for someone you’d never met. That was incredibly brave of you and I don’t know if I’d be here had you not done that. So thanks.”

Her smile was so bright and pure, so positive. Riku was somewhat taken aback. He’d almost forgotten how much good had come from their journey. “I… I was happy to help,” he humbly accepted. “I never really questioned it.”

“That’s why you deserve your Mastery,” she smiled again. “I was so happy to find out.” 

Riku’s polite smile was starting to crack. It was time. “Can I… can I ask you a kind of weird question?” he finally managed. 

Aqua shrugged. “Shoot.”

“How did you do it?” Riku finally asked in defeat. Aqua patiently waited for him to elaborate. “You has the worst fate dealt to you and you handled it with such dignity. You didn’t give up. I know we’re supposed to be strong but I…” he sniffed, his eyes filling with tears, “I don’t know how long I can keep it together…” 

“Hey,”  she rubbed his arm, pulling him in for a hug. “No one ever said being strong meant you’re not allowed to show your feelings. The reason I didn’t cry wasn’t because Masters aren’t supposed to – that’s just how I dealt with grief. Holding back does more harm in the long run — you need to get through these things to let you move on.”

“You lost both your best friends and you were stuck in the Realm of Darkness, alone,” Riku went on, “but you still kept hoping?” 

“I kept believing,” Aqua told him, and suddenly, Riku’s own words were turned back on him.  _ You don’t believe that.  _ “You always need some darkness with your light. I know you of all people know that, Riku. You need a little sadness so you can recognize the good times.” 

Riku sniffed. “So what do I do?” 

Aqua pulled back, serene. “Let yourself cry. I promise you Master Yen Sid’s not gonna revoke your title if he sees it. Stay in bed if you have to. Have some ice cream. Talk to people, tell them what you really thing. Forget expectations, you need to do what’s best for you, right? Eventually, things will stop hurting so bad and you will have more good times.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Does that sound like something you can do?” 

Riku’s empty chest was starting to feel lighter, and his head felt less stuffy. How did she know exactly what to say? “Yeah,” he nodded, wiping his eyes. “Thank you,” he couldn’t express his gratitude enough. He was so thankful. 

“Glad I could help,” she was glowing. “Do you want to join our board game? We’re not really playing by the rules, and I’m sure the boys wouldn’t mind. It’s not a competitive game, either, it’s one of those funny voting games.” 

“Yknow, that sounds fun,” Riku have a red eyed smile. “Can I invite up Kairi?” 

“Why not?” Aqua smiled. 

Maybe things were going to get better. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry about the delay! I've been trying to update once a week but I've been falling behind. I've only got a few weeks left of school, so hopefully I'll be able to pick things up then! Enjoy :)

Aqua’s advice stuck with Riku. He tried to feel things more fully, he let himself look sad and for once, he found that he didn’t have to be the shoulder to cry on.

He was able to talk one on one with Kairi for the first time in a long time. They hadn’t really talked to each other since before this all — both had been caught up in such different worlds. It was nearly a week after she’s returned, and Riku could feel the tension growing between the two. He didn’t want there to be — she was all he had left. He knew she felt awful, he knew she blamed herself. He had to be there for her.

He found her training behind the tower early in the morning, the sky a high overcast, a cool fall wind coming in. Her moves were vicious, determined and vengeful. “Kai,” he warned her as he approached from behind.

She paused, panting, turning around. “Oh, Riku,” she was uneasy. “Hey.”

His lips drew into a tight line. “Do you want to take a break for a bit? You must be getting cold.”

Kairi looked down at her keyblade, her red hands becoming calloused and her bare arms. “I’m okay…” she started.

“I brought you a sweater,” Riku was already wearing a pullover on top. “Want to take a walk together?”

Her blade disappeared. “Yeah. That would be nice.” He extended the sweater and she hesitated before putting it on over her head too. “Thanks.”

They walked in silence for a bit, pine trees around them. They walked down the hill, away from the tower, trying their best to get enough distance that they could open up. “I wish I’d cared this much before,” Kairi started, voice sad. This caught Riku off guard. What did she mean? She went on: “I had no idea what to expect. I’d never been in a battle before. I should have worked so much harder. I don’t know why I didn’t, Riku…” she sniffed, wiping her nose. “I froze up. I was a coward…”

“You weren’t,” Riku stopped her, still facing forward. They’d paused and he wrapped an arm around her shoulder, squeezing her. “You wanted to help. That’s all anyone could ask. And we can’t change things now.”

She exhaled shakily and turned into his embrace, burying her face in his chest. Riku hugged her tight, her narrow shoulders and arms. After a long pause, she released him and wiped her eyes. She moved over to sit on a rock, making sure to leave room for Riku. Once he lined her, she started: “I… I think I knew,” her voice wavered quietly, “I think it’s a princess of heart thing, to have a bit of foresight. I… I knew I was gonna die.”

Riku was a little shocked. He’d thought about it some nights, and he was fairly sure Sora knew it was his end too. Hell, Riku had thought it about — he’d been close to leaving the world forever too.

“I was okay with it,” Kairi admitted. “Being your friend and Sora’s friend was the best. And if it meant that everything else ended up okay, I was fine with it.” Her hands folded in her lap. “I didn’t want to bring Sora with me. When we exchanged paopus, I didn’t bite his.” Riku’s eyes widened. “I thought it would keep him safe,” Kairi confessed. “Now, I think it was the wrong thing to do. I think it made him this he had to go in after me, and I think it might’ve kept him from making it back with me.”

Riku’s chest was twisting, hurting. This was a lot of guilt for Kairi to carry, but what was he supposed to do? All he could be was a vessel to carry the weight — that her decisions might have been the reason she and Sora weren’t in the same life anymore. He couldn’t find anything to say.

Kairi dug into her inventory. Riku was surprised when very suddenly, she was extending the star-shaped fruit to him. “This is the one Sora gave me,” she explained. It was still in mint condition — firm, fresh, and distinctly unbitten. “I’m not going to pretend to know how the magic works, but I hope that somehow his touch will have imprinted and I want you to have it. If there’s anyone who deserves to have him in their life forever, it’s you, Riku.”

Her eyes were teary, and Riku was getting there. He picked up the fruit from Kairi’s lap, imagining Sora’s outstretched arm once offering it. He thought back to the night before the first storm, him tossing one to Sora. Did these things really work?

Without much thought, he lifted the fruit and he bit into it. It was a taste he knew he’d never tasted before, but it was familiar, like a combination of so many things. It tasted like home. He and Kairi sat there while he ate the whole thing, both quietly staring off at the horizon. He felt a bit better as he finished it, but he didn’t want to let himself get excited. He didn’t want to let himself hope anymore; it was exhausting being let down over and over every time he imagined Mickey telling him that they’d thought of a way.

“Thanks, Kairi,” he finally spoke again. “I appreciate the sentiment. I just… knowing that I can’t bring him back just reminds me again that I’m not enough… every time now, it just makes me stronger.”

“Riku, you are enough,” Kairi insisted, looping her arm into his. “You did everything you could. You backed him up, you supported him. Some things are just out of our control.”

Riku leaned against Kairi. “If he really loved me, why’d he leave?”

This was a hard question, but if she was able to unload onto him, he should at least be able to expect the same. She exhaled for a long time. “You know what he would say,” she started. “No one’s ever really gone. He’s here,” she put her hand over her heart. “He left because he thought it was the right thing to do. He’s not selfish, and although I’m sure he would give up the world for you, sometimes he doesn’t think that far ahead. He’s impulsive, he just… follows his heart. There’s no chance he saw it like that.” Her eyes were gentle. “You know that, right?”

Hearing it from Kairi made it so much clearer in his mind. Aqua was right – wearing his heart (or lack thereof) on his sleeve was making him feel better. “You’re right,” he sighed, taking a deep breath and steadying himself. He knew Sora loved him. Now wasn’t the time to question it. “Thank you.”

“Stop thanking me,” Kairi joked, nudging him with her elbow. “C’mon, I’m getting cold. Want some tea?”

They headed back, both a bit chilled from the fall wind. It was quieter in the Mysterious Tower now – Aqua, Terra and Ven and finally returned to the Land of Departure. It did mean that the remaining inhabitants were getting harder and harder to avoid. Roxas, particularly, seemed to be on the brink of a confrontation. Things were awkward between the two, to say the least, as the last time they’d seen each other, Roxas had fought for his life and Riku had fought for Sora’s. Riku’s right wrist still carried the history of the battle, permanently damaged. In reality, there weren’t real hard feelings between the two — they just hadn’t explicitly said that to each other yet.

Roxas had taken the loss of Sora especially hard. Riku tried his best to be sympathetic, tried to acknowledge that their connection (although it was only a year long) was like that of brothers. Roxas did very little to hide how he was feeling, and that was probably justified too. Being a nobody must really suck, so it made sense that Roxas now felt everything to the fullest. His coping mechanisms were almost sickeningly sad, however, and they were becoming more and more obvious as the Tower’s other inhabitants returned to their respective homes.

Roxas had taken to calling Sora’s gummi phone every night, letting it ring through to voicemail just so he could hear Sora’s voice. “ _ Hey, you’ve reached Sora. I can’t talk right now but leave me a message and I’ll call you back!”  _ Roxas left Sora detailed messages about what he’d been up to, how his day had been. He was unashamed to admit how much he missed him, how bad people were doing. His room was just down the hall from Riku’s, so he often got to hear the messages being left.

“Hey Sora, it’s Roxas. Today was kind of crazy. For the first time since we’ve got back, me and Xion got to do some training with Yen Sid! I… I still have both your keyblades, the one from Kairi and the one from Riku. The Master said he hasn’t figured out why I can still wield both of them — apparently, you need two hearts to do it, and back when I was a nobody, I kind of used yours and Ven’s. But you’re both separate now, and I’ve got my own heart… it still looks like I’m gonna continue to have two though! I think you would be happy to hear that. When I… when you didn’t come back, I didn’t want to do this, I didn’t want to train. I just… was counting on that you and me would get to do it together. But hey, I’m starting to see it’s a part of who am I and I don’t wanna give that up.”

“The Master said Xion and I should work on getting our own keyblades soon. I’m kind of hoping to get one for Xion and one for Axel.” There was a pause. “Once I get my own, I want to give yours back to you. That’s where they belong.” Riku pulled the covers tighter around himself every time, pretending not to listen. “I miss you a lot, as always. Hope that wherever you are, you’re alright.”

This had been the night before. When Kairi and Riku were arriving back at the tower for their tea, the kitchen was unusually full. Roxas was sitting at the table, eyes wide and face pale, hands clasped but shaking on the surface in front of him. Axel was behind him, leaned against the counter, Roxas’s gummi phone in his hand.

“W-what’s wrong?” Kairi asked, faltering. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Pretty much,” Axel sounded just as shocked as Roxas looked.

“It doesn’t make sense,” Roxas spoke. “It’s not real — it’s not possible—“

“Sora left a message on Roxas’s phone,” Axel filled in.

“Today,” Roxas added.

Both Kairi and Riku froze. Riku’s whole chest became cold with sadness, with how much he missed Sora, with how much he couldn’t stand to be let down again. “He… what?” Kairi was the only one who could manage to speak.

Roxas got up, grabbing his phone from Axel. “Look, it says right here, 10:04 am,  _ today _ , and I was in the shower so I didn’t even hear it ring.”

“Can we hear it?” Riku asked impulsively, feeling distant from his body.

Roxas played the message. Riku’s throat closed when he heard that familiar voice. “ _ Hey Roxas! Thanks for leaving me all those messages, I love hearing what you’re up to. I can’t believe you might be getting your very own keyblade soon — once you do, you’ll have to tell me all about it. And don’t worry about Oblivion and Oathkeeper, I don’t really need them, so keep them as long as you want. I miss you too, but I’m glad you’re doing okay. Ok, talk to you later!” _

It was like a sledgehammer hit Riku in the chest. He was so winded hearing Sora’s voice, being reminded just how real he used to be. “Why does it sound like nothing’s changed?” Kairi was a little less speechless. “Why didn’t he talk about being…”

“That’s what we’re trying to figure out,” Axel filled in. “Something about this just doesn’t make sense.”

“We’ve been trying to call him all morning but he hasn’t picked up,” Roxas replied. “I don’t know anything about ghosts. Is this how they communicate?”

Thinking of Sora as a ghost made Riku feel sick and a bit angry. “Wherever Sora is, his energy definitely goes on,” Kairi was trying to be optimistic. “Maybe that’s enough to get your message. It’s like what he said when he started trying to figure out how to get you back — if everyone thinks about you and wishes —“

“It’s kinda like by calling him, you conjured him—“ Axel started.

“Don’t—“ Riku cut in, more suddenly than he meant to. He was shaking. He would give  _ anything  _ for a voicemail from Sora — he was desperate to hear his boyfriend’s voice tell him goodbye, to say he’ll always love him. He felt awful now for mentally spiting Roxas for making these calls — he should have been doing the same and maybe Sora would’ve got the message! His thoughts were so jumbled and all this talk like Sora was a spectre from another plane of existence. “Just don’t… say that word,” he spoke more quietly, regaining his facade.

“I don’t know what else to call it,” Axel ran a hand through his hair.

Before the tension could grow any more in the room, all four of them jumped when Roxas’ phone started ringing on the table. Riku’s muscles would not stop shaking at the sheer anticipation.

_ Sora… _

But, as much as he willed it, when Roxas finally picked up, it was another voice — “Roxas, how are you?”

The room exhaled a collective sigh. “Ven… could be better,” Roxas sheepishly admitted.

“I’ve got some  _ weird _  news,” Ventus started. Riku hardly thought the day could get any weirder.

“W…what’s up?” Roxas didn’t know what else to say.

“So, me and Aqua and Terra got home last night, but I couldn’t sleep,” he started. “I got up to head outside to get some fresh air and you have no idea who was waiting for me by the door!” Everyone in the room was speechless. When no one stepped in, Ven went on, “it was Sora! Well, it wasn’t really him... he was all translucent and kind of gold — like Master Eraqus’ heart — and he could talk to me! I was so shocked, I really thought I was dreaming.”

“What did he say?” Roxas finally spoke.

“That he’s okay. That he’s happy we’re okay,” Ven’s voice was bittersweet. “He was glad we were home and was wondering when you guys would be.”

_ Sora was okay. Sora was waiting for him.  _ Riku felt lightheaded. 

“I got a voicemail from him,” Roxas, equally as stunned, filled Ventus in. “Same kind of thing.”

“Aqua said that once hearts are free, they can sometimes travel,” Ven filled them in. “Like an unfinished business type thing. I’m just glad he’s happy. It’s weird not having him here.”

“Tell me about it,” Roxas looked down.

Riku was ready to pass out. The thought that he might still get to see Sora again, he might get one last chance to tell him just how much he meant to him, was mind-blowing.

“Well... keep me posted if anything else happens,” Ven finished. “I gotta go.”

“Okay,” Roxas rubbed his forehead. “Thanks, Ven.”

An awed silence sat on the room for a moment until Kairi finally spoke. “So, if he appeared to Roxas and Ven... maybe he can still reach those whose hearts were connected closest to his.”

This made Riku’s throat tighten and his hand balled into a fist at his side. He knew Kairi was being sensible — Roxas was a part of Sora, and Ventus had been with him for nearly all his life. It still stung that his connection wasn’t the same. He’d be willing to give all of himself to Sora, and he wasn’t even the first one Sora came back looking for?

He knew this made no sense. He knew he shouldn’t doubt Sora. He knew Sora probably couldn’t control these kind of things. But he was hurting! Being apart from Sora was bitter and he couldn’t stand the thought of others being able to reach him, but not being able to himself.

“This is a lot to take in,” Axel spoke again. “We should probably tell Yen Sid. He might be able to explain it better to us. You’ve still got the voicemail?”

“Yup,” Roxas’s phone was cradled in his hand, as if letting it go would let Sora go as well. “You guys wanna come?”

Riku could hardly focus. His brain was filling with terribly doubtful ideas, getting jilted and uncertain of Sora’s willingness to come back to him. He was not in the mindset to be talked at by his master. “I’ll… catch up with you guys,” he finally decided. “I gotta think some things through.”

Kairi gave him a worried glance and he tried to muster his most reassuring smile. He wasn’t going to do anything — he couldn’t, now. Part of him knew he was hoping time alone would allow Sora to appear to him. Part of him knew he shouldn’t get his hopes up.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry again for the delay! Thanks for reading :)

As predicted, the trend of hearts contacted continued. Xion saw Sora next in the garden, getting the same kind of closure Ventus and Roxas had. Riku tried his best to be patient as the days passed, signs of Sora filling the lives of people around him. The more he heard Sora’s sentiment, the more he started to realize Sora wouldn’t have it any other way. He knew Sora would never question fate; he hadn’t hesitated to meet his own. Riku got into a cycle of helpless acceptance, still absolutely crushed by the loss but with no more hope that Sora would be coming back. In time, everyone started to move on; as the days passed, everyone got messages telling them that somewhere, wherever you go after you die, Sora was okay.

A week and a half later, Riku had still gotten nothing. 

It sucked. It absolutely fucking sucked, knowing that their hearts were tied where they could share dreams every night, but wherever hearts go after death was too far away for Riku to reach. As the days passed, it became less and less acceptable to be down about the whole matter — with everyone seeing Sora, the notion that  _ even if you haven’t seen him, you can know he’s okay _ was becoming rampant in their friend group. Riku started forcing smiles again, distant and heartbroken, feeling alone in a room full of people. 

It came time for everyone to return home. Axel took Roxas and Xion back to Twilight Town, ready to find them a home for good, and it was starting to become obvious that Kairi and Riku should be heading back to the Islands soon. Everyone was getting over the grief, putting together a beach day for everyone to see each other again, old friends and new. Lowkey, it was to encourage Kairi and Riku to return home again, but it was a warm night, and everyone needed a change of scenery. 

Back on the beach, Riku was realizing just how much he wasn’t ready for change yet. Finding exactly where home was again wasn’t an easy task — it had been on his request, all those years ago, that the three of them leave their island. How was he going to face his father again after no word for nearly three years? How could he ever explain what he’d been through? Not to mention, all of Sora’s things were still in the Tower, and Riku refused to pack them up, refused to change anything. 

It was different for Kairi. She was always strongly empathetic, and although she also hadn’t yet seen Sora, she seemed comforted by his appearances to the others. She’d only left their home a few months ago, and adjusting to a new home was something she was very used to. She wrote her foster parents often even in the months she’d been away; Riku knew she was eager to get back, but she wouldn’t be leaving without him. Seeing her, back on the Paopu tree, facing towards their old home, made Riku realize how different his life was going to be from now on. 

He tried his best to put on a happy face. Strength in numbers helped distract him, and he wasn’t sure when everyone would be together again after this. Everyone had their own lives to get on with. It was hard to believe his adventure was over. 

They stayed at the beach for the whole sunset, building a little bonfire as the sun passed below the horizon and it started to get dark. Sora, Riku, and Kairi used to spend so many nights here, under the stars, fire to keep them warm in the fall and spring. Kairi was still lingering by the tree, but just as she knew that Riku sometimes needed time alone, he respected her privacy as well. As the fire grew, he noticed her, teary faced, returning. He turned to meet her and she grabbed his hand in hers, pulling him away from the fire, apart from the crowd. “Riku…” she was beaming, her eyes wet. “I saw him! I finally saw him!” 

Riku’s chest tightened and his own eyes began to tear. “Really?”

She nodded. “He was with me at the tree… He didn’t say anything, but it was so comforting. He took my hand, it was so warm, it was like he was really there…” she sniffed. “I–”

“Kairi!” Namine had realized what was going on and rushing over. “Are you alright?” 

All of a sudden, their private moment was shared with everybody, Riku sniffing his tears back, Kairi happily announcing, “I saw Sora! He’s still with us!” 

The rest of the night was bittersweet. Riku wasn’t sure how much longer he could wait for Sora to appear to him, and as much as he wanted to be happy for Kairi, he couldn’t deny the jealousy that was becoming more and more obvious. The rest of the night was a little spoiled, and then everyone returned home and he and Kairi returned to the Mysterious Tower. Now, he was conflicted – was Sora waiting for him at their old home? 

To make matters worse, Riku had been sleeping poorly. The first little while after the news, he’d been sleeplessness, lying awake for hours, shaking, crying on and off, eventually passing out mostly from exhaustion, but now as his body started to recalibrate, the nightmares were back full force. The battles at the keyblade graveyard had given his psyche plenty of fresh horrors to play around with, and there was no Sora to save him this time. He’d be up many times in the night, heart racing, feeling he was about to die, and it wasn’t helping his daytime attitude either. It seemed that every few hours, he’d be shooting awake in the dark, thinking horrible thoughts about his own weakness.  _ He hadn’t done enough,  _ what an awful idea. 

That night, in particular, he had woken up at 5:30 from another awful dream and the last thing he wanted to do was continue lying in bed. He ascended the mysterious tower, aiming for one of the balconies (curse the every changing stairwells) but instead ending up outside Yen Sid’s study. Although it wasn’t what he had in mind, he predicted borrowing a book would help keep him occupied as the sun rose, maybe even let him doze off, so he cracked the door without a second thought. 

He was taken aback to find the Master in his study, sitting at his desk, steamy tea on the table, a book spread before him. He was equally as surprised to see Riku up so early, wandering the tower. Riku was frozen in shock for a second, still in his bedclothes, barefoot on the floor. “Master… sorry, I was just… I wanted to fetch a book…”

“Master Riku,” Yen Sid spoke. “Is something amiss?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” Riku admitted in defeat. “I didn’t mean to bother you. I didn’t expect you would be up…”

“It is no bother,” the master dismissed. “Come, sit. Would you like some tea?” 

Riku eyed the pot hungrily, craving the caffeine. In his heart, he knew he was counting on getting back into bed once the sun was up and sleeping a little longer. “No, I’m fine. Thank you, though.” 

He hummed very softly, closing his book. “Perhaps fate brought us together today. Last night, as I prepared to head off to bed, Sora appeared to me.” Riku perked up a little, intrigued but still disappointed. ( _ Another one before him.)  _ “It was nice to see him one last time. I think you will be happy to hear that I placed upon him the title of Master. He deserved it, after all, especially had things gone differently. I thought it got to acknowledge his growth, even posthumously.”

A small, wavering smile graced Riku’s face. He was so proud he was starting to tear up. Sora deserved it — in Riku’s eyes, he was a Master already, not just with his technique and stamina, but in spirit as well. It was unlikely he would ever meet anyone as heartstrong ever again; Sora’s unwavering optimism and friendliness would have made him the perfect teacher. He blinked quickly, turning his head a bit. “Wow. I… I didn’t expect that… I mean, with the way things ended—“

“Sora is by no means perfect, but his heart was always in the right place,” Yen Sid explained. “No Master is without their flaw. I have been hard on him, encouraging him to push his limits… sometimes I worry I may have pushed him too far.” 

Riku shook his head, laughing a little. “I don’t think that’s possible with Sora. He knows what he wants and he goes for it.”

“Indeed,” Yen Sid replied. “He was thrilled to accept his Mastery, even if it doesn’t mean much now. He insisted that I tell you. You must be, undoubtedly, very proud.”

He was. Riku was more proud than Yen Sid could ever know — still, no one knew just how much Sora meant to Riku. To their master, they were nothing more than peers, maybe even rivals. Riku loved Sora with everything he had, and the confirmation that Sora thought about him brought a smile to his face. Still, thinking about  _ Master Sora  _ was bittersweet. For so long, he’d thought that they would become masters together – that they would one day be entrusted to their own land to train new students together, spending an eternity sharing a home and a life. It was simple things like this that Riku was going to miss out on for the rest of his days. 

But he couldn’t tell this to the Master. He wouldn’t understand, and it didn’t make any difference. So he managed his smile and croaked, “I am,” his voice gentle with emotion. “I’ve always been proud of him.” 

The Master hummed. “Anywho, I am glad I saw you. Please, help yourself to a book. You look like you could use some solitude.” 

Riku nodded, holding back a yawn and grabbing a title from one of the bookshelves. There was a bit of light in the sky now; he supposed he could manage a few more hours in his room. He picked one without much thought, bowing to his Master on the way out. “Thanks again, for… telling me about him,” he managed a small smile. 

He managed a little more sleep once back in his room, dozing off on his comfy chair, waking up groggy in the middle of the day, neck stiff and a little cold overall. Kairi was knocking at his door, gentle, but still enough to jar him from sleep. When she cracked the door, she was a little surprised to see him still half asleep. “Oops… I can let you sleep a little more, if you want…”

Riku sat up, yawning and tossing the book aside. “No,” his voice was raspy from disuse. “I-I should get up. What’s up?”

She felt very out of place, already dressed for the day in her usual gear. “I dunno. I wanted to talk to you about last night. In private, though. It would be nice for us to get some fresh air too, huh?”

She was right. Riku took a moment to get dressed, to run a brush through his hair, then the two headed out and sat on the grass as far from the mysterious tower as they could get, staring out at the horizon. The sky was bright, blue, sunny. For a minute, they just sat in silence, trying their best to recover the feeling of how it had been when the three of them had been together, been kids on Destiny Island. 

“I haven’t seen him yet,” Riku suddenly admitted. He hadn’t outright told anyone yet. “It feels like everyone has but me.”

Kairi gave him a strange look. “That is weird. Like…  _ everyone  _ had seen him. I know you’ve been in a slump but he’s been, like, making the rounds. I was texting with Olette and apparently, he’s even been to Twilight Town.”

Riku almost shook his head with disbelief. It didn’t make sense. “I saw Master Yen Sid this morning, too. Sora appeared to him and he made him a Master.”

“Really?” Kairi’s eyes lit up. “That’s fantastic. He… he deserved it.”

Riku’s couldn’t help but smile fondly. “Yeah. He did.”

“Maybe one day I’ll be up there with you guys,” she said somewhat sadly. 

That made Riku sad, too. He wished things were different – he wished Kairi had been along with them the whole time, he wished she’d been strong enough. There was a beat where neither of them knew what to say. Riku impulsively changed the direction of the conversation: “You loved him, didn’t you?”

Kairi closed her eyes. “Yep.” 

“I’m… sorry things never worked out,” Riku really was. She was still his friend. He did care about her - he wanted her to be happy, to be able to be herself around him. It was okay to talk about these kinds of things. 

“He did a lot to make me feel good about it,” she noted. “He always has. He’s an amazing friend and I don’t even mind if it won’t be anything more. Plus, I know he’s always with me even when I can’t see him.” She was smiling, despite how bizarre their lives were becoming. “Plus, I think he’s better off with you. At least I know he’s in good hands.”

Riku wished Sora was still in his hands, in his arms, and in his bed. Kairi suddenly looked pensive, almost guilty. She dug into her pocket and dug something out. “Last night, he left something with me, and it doesn’t feel right for me to keep it. I know he… he meant for it to get to you.” She opened her palms to reveal Sora’s beloved crown necklace. “I know you gave it to him back when we were kids and I-I guess he wanted you to have it back.” 

Riku’s throat ached so much as he accepted it from her. As he put his hand on the cool metal, so many memories floated back – it was a piece of Sora, _the real Sora,_ that he’d get to have forever. 

It took him a long time to force his voice not to shake, but he managed a, “Thank you,”  and they hugged. When they pulled back, Kairi was crying a little and he wiped her tears. “Listen, we’re best friends, Kairi. It’s not gonna change. It… it was always a dream of ours to live together and train keyblade wielders. Since he… since he won’t get the chance, I would love to have that with you.” 

Kairi wet her lips, more tears coming. “Riku… I’d love that…” They hugged again. “I hope he visits you soon. You deserve him,” she whispered in his ear. 

Riku was done talking about things for today. He slipped the necklace in his pocket – it didn’t feel right to put it on yet – and they sat in silence for a little while, watching the sky. In a little while, they went in, hugged again, and Riku returned to his room. His sheets still smelled the tiniest bit like Sora, if he imagined hard enough.

He knew there was somewhere he needed to go. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only a few chapters to go! I've only got one exam left too. Hope you're still enjoying!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The thrilling plot twist is finally here... sorry it took so long ;)

Riku suited up, a refreshed determination in mind with the weight of Sora’s necklace in his pocket. For the first time that week, Riku put on his full battle gear – his special dark-repellent garments, his gloves, his boots. He’d hardly summoned his keyblade over the past few days, but he’d need it now. He didn’t want to tell anyone explicitly where he was going: it was going to be a bit of a personal pilgrimage, and definitely something he needed to do alone. 

The gummi ship was parked behind the Tower, and he managed to take off without much disturbance. With only himself, Kairi, and Yen Sid at the Tower now, there weren’t usually people snooping around. Riku thankfully was off to the Badlands only a short while later. 

Although Riku was still getting used to the gummi ship’s atypical controls, he couldn’t help but take Sora’s life motto into consideration:  _ Let your heart be your guiding key.  _ He knew where he wanted to go; he could visualize it well. Thankfully, the portal opened once more before him and he was on his way. It didn’t take him long to warp to his desired location — the Keyblade Graveyard. 

It has been an idea tossing around in the back of his mind for days now, and he knew he needed to check firsthand for closure. The place brought back so many memories now: the arid air, the dust biting at his eyes and cheeks. Pure association put him on edge, but he was physically prepared. Wearing his old attire made him feel the part; he no longer felt like a heartbroken teen, but a Keyblade Master once more. 

He made his way to the open field itself, ancient blades rearranged from the land being chopped to pieces, but still a great X carved with no blades in its path. So much history had mounted on this ground, and all Riku could do was wish no more was to come. He walked solemnly past the blades, scanning every single one for anything familiar. 

As he reached the centre of the X, he couldn’t help but notice one blade apart from the others. In the centre, where the two paths met, there sat Sora’s Kingdom Key, prongs buried in the soil, keychain barely rattling in the wind. 

He stopped, lingering a few feet away, unsure how to feel. Part of him was still praying that he wouldn’t find the blade — that Sora would still be using it, whenever he was. But he knew finding it would give him closure: he couldn’t deny, fathom, or obsess over the location of his friend’s key anymore. He thought it rather fitting that Sora’s blade stood out from the crowd — ever the recusant sigil, after all they’d been through. 

For a second, he was lost for words. He knew this was his way of talking to Sora one on one – he needed it to be private, one-on-one, to the piece of Sora that represented his heart. That darned blade, yellow and blue, his own colors, that had passed to Sora as Sora reached for the light in his heart. Even at his worst, Sora still had brought out the best in him. How far Sora had come from that day, getting better and better every day. Riku was so proud it hurt. 

“Sora,” he put his hand on the hilt of the blade, getting to his knees, humbled. “Sora… what am I going to do with you,” he smiled fondly, sadly. “I would’ve done anything for you. I just wish you’d have asked. I really hope you know how much you mean to me and how much I miss you. Just… if you can’t say anything to me… that’s okay.” He cracked the tiniest smile. “I love you, and you don’t need to come back.” He got to his feet, only starting to get choked up. “I’m setting you free. If this has to be goodbye… I’m okay with that.” 

It felt better saying it aloud. It was the first time he’d addressed Sora since he’d slipped through his fingers. He rubbed the necklace in his pocket between his thumb and forefinger, the cool metal becoming warm from his own heat. Decidedly, he finally took it out and hung it around his neck. At least he could pretend Sora was with him now. 

He left the land, hopefully for what would be the last time, returning home in the gummi ship feeling a little sad overall. He hadn’t felt this sad since the first day, partly because he hadn’t had the time, partly because he hadn’t let himself. He knew it was time to start moving on, whether or not he got a sign from Sora. When he made it back, it was dark at the Tower, the lights already out, the setting already peacefully tranquil, the only two inhabitants already asleep and unbeknownst to Riku’s escapade. He climbed the stairs, not to his own room, but to Sora’s, which no one had entered in the weeks that had passed. With a hand over where his heart should be, he turned the knob and walked in. 

All his things were there still there – his clothes, strewn on the floor, his books. Kicking off his boots and overcoat, he crawled into Sora’s bed where it really smelled like him. He held the necklace close to his heart and thought of Sora, thought of Kingdom Key, thought of the last time he’d seen his beloved disappear through the keyhole, imagined his voice, pretended he was still here. He cried, really letting himself go for the first time in a while, not afraid that anyone would hear, not upset at how broken he still felt. His tears soaked Sora’s pillow, and it was like a weight was lifted. Saying goodbye at the Keyblade Graveyard had released a tension he didn’t know he’d been holding. 

Eventually, he fell asleep and came to in a dream world he recognized – the purple fields of Symphony of Sorcery, beautiful classical music all around. At this point, anything that wasn’t a nightmare was a saving grace. He didn’t want to get his hopes up, but he couldn’t help it. Was this finally going to be his time? 

As he wandered the fields, he followed to where the music was louder and came upon a marble pavilion. At the far side, there was a man waiting for him – Sora? – decked out in a full tuxedo, looking expectantly in his direction. Riku couldn’t comprehend if this was just a figment or the real thing, but he had to take what he could get. He couldn’t help himself from smiling and hustling towards him. Sora didn’t say a word to him, eyes deep and blue, open and accepting. He extended a hand to Riku, which he took, and the two danced. Riku found himself also fully formal, Sora’s crown necklace still sitting just over his heart. They danced for what seemed like ages, spinning, Sora’s warmth distracting Riku from the emptiness that he’d been affronted with for the last few weeks. It almost felt like nothing had changed. 

Eventually, the music stopped and Riku finally found the ability to speak. “Sora… is it… is it really you?”

Half of him expected Sora to fade away, to ambiguously be left with no confirmation of whether he’d imagined it or it had really happened. He’d meant what he’d said today – he knew he could be alright without seeing Sora again – but maybe he wouldn’t have to… 

Instead, Sora’s face was serious, relaxed, and he finally spoke. “Yeah, Riku… it’s me. I’m here.”

Riku was getting choked up as he realized just how much he’d been hurting the past few weeks. “Where have you been? Why didn’t you tell me you were okay?” 

“You knew I was okay,” Sora touched Riku’s face, “Right? You trust me. You know me.”

“I trust you,” Riku repeated, sinking into Sora’s touch. “I know you.”

“I was saying some goodbyes,” Sora explained. “I’m sorry it took so long. But now…” His smile was bittersweet. “I won’t have to leave you again.” Riku was a little confused until Sora turned, showing him the back of his suit on which there was a familiar symbol emblazoned – round peaks, like a heart over a club. He was still taken aback until Sora clarified, “You protected my dreams. Now it’s my turn to take care of you.”

Riku touched his back gingerly still in disbelief. “You’re my dream eater?”

“Just like you were mine,” Sora turned back, taking Riku’s hands. 

“You… you’re going to be with me forever?” Riku was trying to figure out how exactly these things worked. “Sora, that’s too much for me to ask – I want you to be free, I want you to be happy –”

“Hey,” Sora squeezed his hands. “Please let me do this. This is what I want, Riku. I’ll never be as comfortable or as happy as I am with you. You’ve given me so much strength, you’ve pushed me so far my entire life… I just want to be able to return the favor.” 

Riku was so totally enthralled, staring at Sora. He was awed at the love he deserved; how had he ever doubted Sora? “... if you’re sure,” he finally spoke. 

Sora sighed, almost as if he was relieved (as if there was a chance Riku would even consider turning down his offer) and pulled Riku into a tight hug. When he pulled back, his eyes were no longer their normal blue, but a vibrant green, jarring Riku. “Sora – your eyes just changed color–”

“You must’ve just changed my affinity!” Sora beamed. “Remember?”

Riku’s own eyes were wide. “I didn’t know that was possible…”

“Well, I’m super happy now,” Sora beamed. “It’s finally my turn to keep you safe! I’ll never let go, Riku, okay? You gave your heart to me, you gave me so much strength, and now I get to be with you forever.”

His mood was contagious, a smile gracing Riku’s face as well. “That sounds so perfect,” he cupped Sora’s hand and his boyfriend leaned into his touch, relishing their contact after so much time apart. 

“Listen,” Sora’s voice became serious and his eyes faded to a focused purple. “I’m not just going to protect you from nightmares. I want you to have a good life, too, Riku, okay?” 

Riku was still smiling in disbelief. “What do you mean? Isn’t my life pretty good?” 

Sora took his hands and lead him to the edge of the pavilion, uncharacteristically serious. “Look, Riku, I feel like you were really good at loving me. I think for longer than I’ve known, too. You… you’ve always loved me unapologetically. You’ve given it your all. And I feel like… maybe I used to not really know how to love you. I wish I’d spent–”

“No,” Riku interrupted him, squeezing his hands, “Don’t regret anything–”

“No, I have to say this,” Sora strained. “I feel like I didn’t understand love enough. I’ve had so much going on the past few years, how could I?” This was making Riku sad. “But one thing I was good at was sharing my heart with others,” Sora was determined now. “Not like I share it with you, y’know, but… being open. Relying on people. Sharing some of that hurt.” Their eyes met. “You  _ don’t  _ do that, Riku, and it makes me worry about you.” 

“I don’t…” Riku was pausing, thinking. “I don’t know. I didn’t realize.”

“I know there’ve been times where you could only count on yourself,” Sora acknowledged, “but you’ve even done it to me. You don’t have to protect people from yourself. It’s okay not to be perfect.”

“Who do I even bother?” Riku dejectedly looked down at his hands. He knew if he kept staring at Sora, he would cry. 

Sora shrugged. “Your dad. My parents. Our friends back on the islands.” When Riku looked up, Sora’s face was gentle. “It’s time to go home, Riku.”

Riku frowned, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I didn’t want to go home without you.” 

“You’ve got your family to get back to,” Sora insisted. “I know Kairi’s ready. I think you’re ready, even if you don’t really feel like it.” 

“I dunno,” Riku frowned. “Me and my dad are pretty much estranged now. Ever since mom died, everything’s been… it’s just not been good. He doesn’t know the half of what I’ve been up to.” 

“Neither did my parents, and I came home dead,” Sora seriously admitted. Riku’s heart hurt at the stark reality of that statement. “I’m sure he’s worried sick that you’re gonna be next.” 

Riku stared at Sora until the tears started to come. “I just… I don’t know if I can do it alone,” he admitted. “Why did it have to be you?” he cried in despair, leaning down and hugging Sora who joined him in tears.  _ Why _ so many things. Why did it have to be Sora who won his heart. Why did Sora have to die. 

Riku woke very suddenly in the middle of the night, tears streaming down his face, still in Sora’s bed. His chest felt so full, his heart finally returned to him, Sora’s necklace hanging right next to it. Overflowing with emotion, he grabbed the gummi phone and dialled his home number, heart beating in his chest. After a few rings, his dad picked up, still bleary from the previous night’s sleep. 

“Dad? It’s Riku…” his voice was soft, hoarse from lack of use. “I just… I miss you. I wanted to let you know that I’m okay and I’m coming to visit soon.” 

“Riku?” his dad asked. “I… you’ve been missing for years…” 

“I’m fine,” Riku was teary. “I’m so sorry. I’ve been an awful son…you should be furious–”

“No, don’t apologize,” his dad was shockingly gentle. “I’m just glad you’re alright…” 

Riku was coming down from his emotional high. “Okay. Sorry to wake you up. I’ll call you in the morning.” 

“Goodnight, Riku,” his dad’s voice is quiet. “I love you.” 

“I love you too, dad.” Relief was washing over Riku, one hand pressed to his chest. He wasn’t going to be alone anymore. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been waiting MONTHS to write this chapter; I actually had parts of it written since February so it was hard to get it to a point where I was happy with how everything turned out. We're working towards a happy ending now!


End file.
